While road tripping in 2016 to complete my “All 50 States” tour, I pulled over along a desolate highway. The sunset views against Arizona’s Painted Desert deserved so much more than a passing glance as I drove through. I got out of my car and stood amidst absolute, complete silence and watched nature take place.
I’d never seen anything like it. Iridescence cascaded into/like an overture/coloratura across the sky. The sun painted murals on rock formations. Fallen, petrified trees from the late Triassic period, 225 million years ago interspersed throughout the barren landscapes soon gave way to majestic silhouettes accented by stars that seemed close enough to pull right out of the sky.
There I stood, somewhere between, “the bright blessed day and dark sacred night” that inspired Armstrong’s crooning and led him to rejoice, “What a wonderful world.” Wonderful world, indeed.
Engulfed in awe of the creator’s innovation, my heart overflowed with gratitude that the composer saw fit to share this masterpiece with me. At the moment, an elucidation that captured this experience from Forest Gump, long buried in the depths of my mind, rose to the surface, “In the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn’t tell where heaven stopped, and Earth began. It was so beautiful.” At this moment, I too struggled to distinguish Heaven from Earth. For the first time, I understood.
Surrounded by both vast nothingness and the density of significance at once, all of the people I love came to mind. I wanted them to have a moment like this. I wished they could witness this. I craved for them to feel all of this.
I view the world through a historical lens. Whereas an engineer may look at something and ask how it works, I look for clues left by previous generations to learn the story of why and document to provide clues for the next. I travel in order to cover as much ground as possible to increase the probability that I trace the steps of my progenitors but also, lay a path for descendants. I try to have many unique experiences so when others experience the same, it bridges a gap of understanding in a way that it couldn’t by being explained.
For example, I grew up in a military family. Saturday mornings often started with a G.I. Party (the military community knows, this is not an exciting event) and getting ready for school came with the expectation that it only takes three minutes to do the Three S’s. After 22 years of growing up in that environment, it wasn’t until I experienced military training for myself that I learned it is indeed possible to get ready in three minutes (which is 90 seconds more than what’s actually needed). That experience helps me relate to every American warfighter that has come before me in a way I couldn’t before. Visiting Charleston, I was filled with an enormous sense of family connection. Although I don’t know for sure, the statistics make it highly probable that someone from my family’s past walked the same streets centuries before. Even after reading Little Women multiple times and watching both versions of the movie, it wasn’t until visiting the March family home, Orchard House, in Concord, Mass that I felt that I really got to know the family. Tracing the steps of James Baldwin, Richard Wright, and Lois Mailou Jones in Paris’ Latin Quarter helps to understand their muses and inspires creativity of one’s own. The same goes for visiting the homes and frequented localities of all historical figures. It gives a snapshot of the surroundings of the historical figure, how they lived, and what influenced their thoughts. It helps to understand how they worked through some of their decisions and thought processes. I know, from visiting the Kennedy Library and Museum that Jacqueline took a cruise to Paris with friends while in college and it was the best year of her life. But I don’t know any such information about anyone in my family.
I’d like to able to know and connect with my family in the same way, but so much of my family’s history went undocumented. I do have some say over the documentation prepared for the future of my family to be able to know and connect in the same way that I do historical figures.
So I travel. I do things. I search out a diversity of experiences, not only so I can find some commonality with people I come in contact with today, and so I can relate to people of yesteryear, but also for those who come next will be able to identify with me in some way.
Regardless of France’s past and current transgressions as colonizers, and irrespective of the more impactful uses of contribution money, Notre Dame’s burning is a loss. The losses of St Mary Baptist, Greater Union Baptist, and Mount Pleasant Baptist in Louisiana and the several mosques also burning at the same time does not detract from the loss of this Catholic Church in France. It is a loss of history — literary history, architectural history, religious history, cultural history, and personal history. And it is a loss of a future. Three generations of women in my family explored this site together during a wonderful summer trip, and now, our future generations will not see it as we saw it.
In the wake of the devasting fire to Paris’ Notre Dame Cathedral, social media users flooded their timelines with the nostalgia of Paris vacations. Criticisms grew that this act was merely bragging. When we grieve the loss of a pet, it is common to remember by showing pictures of the memories with them. When we mourn the loss of a loved one, we do the same thing. When a home full of warm memories is lost, we often use pictures to help us remember those memories and grieve. And in the most heartbreaking occasions, when a dream is lost, one of the ways we grieve is by looking at pictures of that dream. Have we gotten so cynical and disconnected from humanity that we confuse the human emotion of grief for bragging? And really, isn’t that the central focus on social media? A platform to draw attention to yourself?
The places we travel become the setting for the story of our lives. Perhaps, my progeny won’t give their ancestors a second thought, but at least if they do, the more places I travel, the easier it will become for those who come after me to visit and find a connection if they so wished. When they find themselves randomly out in the middle of the desert, witnessing all its glory, and they’re longing for someone to share it with, they’ll know they had an adventurous ancestor who sent everywhere and saw everything and likely witnessed it and felt the same way too. Perhaps, if the Earth is still around, four generations from now, my offspring will visit France’s capital. Perhaps they’ll respond just like me and marvel at finally witnessing the architecture discussed in classes first hand. Perhaps they’ll be like some of my travel companions and be underwhelmed. Perhaps, if it is rebuilt, they’ll climb the tower. Perhaps if restored properly, they won’t have to climb the steps and take the elevator instead. Maybe my future offspring will see the cathedral for the first time with friends. Perhaps they’ll make their mark on eternity and get engaged right next to the Charlemagne statute, under the shade of the trees. At the very least, perhaps those scions will at least have the primary source document that shows four generations of women in their family have gone to Paris, strolled the narrow alleyways, delighted in the cuisine, and had their picture taken in front of La Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris.
One surefire way to pick a fight with a Kentuckian is to try to explain that she is somehow less southern than the rest of The South. Kentuckians are some of the most conscientiously southern folks you’ll ever meet. We are passionately southern. Anyone trying to classify a Kentuckian as anything other than southern is simply lacking good judgment. So, I’m going to speak my piece and be done with the topic.
A Matter Of Geography
The first argument folks will try to use against Kentucky is geography. One’s location relative to the Mason-Dixon is the single qualification required for the geography of The South. The entire commonwealth of Kentucky falls south of the Mason-Dixon Line. But just in case that wasn’t evidence enough, geographically, Kentucky extends further south than some towns in Tennessee (i.e., Fulton, Kentucky is more geographically southern than Clarksville, Tennessee). Kentucky extends further south than Virginia.
If Kentucky isn’t southern what else could it be? It sure isn’t geographically north. Some may offer the Midwest as an acceptable region but what is Kentucky west of other than Virginia and the Atlantic Ocean? Kentucky is one state removed from the nation’s Eastern border. You can’t get more east than Kentucky unless you’re Virginia…or West Virginia. You’d be hard-pressed convincing anyone that Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana aren’t southern states yet they’re all more west of the Bluegrass. Kentucky clearly isn’t West enough to be considered West in any form. Florida is geographically southern, but we all know, the further south you travel in Florida, the less Southern you get. The majority of Floridians do not consider themselves southern and southern folks don’t accept most of them as southern. Southerners will ask from what part of Florida a person is from to really get a feel of how southern they are.
Kentucky is Southern In Culture
At any rate, any southerner worth the butter in their grits will tell you that Southern-ness encompasses more than residing in a particular geographic region. Southern is culture. Southern is a state of mind.
Culture includes all the features of everyday existence; culture consists of beliefs, rituals, behavior, religion, food, arts, attitudes, language, and customs. When it comes to Southern Culture, Kentucky values remain consistent with the south’s.
Kentucky food, with our preference toward all things fried or barbecued, is super southern. Our tea, sweeter than the belles who make it, is undeniably southern. The way we talk, with both a slow drawl and an Appalachian twang and the euphemisms we use, can be found only south of the Mason Dixon. Our rituals and customs can be observed every Saturday in the fall. You’ll find Kentucky belles in sundresses at tailgates, and we tailgate for everything from football to horse races. Debutant balls and cotillions are not foreign to Kentuckians in this day in age. Dang near all of us Kentucky belles have a tiara, sash, and some type of title stashed away from our youth. All of this pomp and circumstance is predicated on the value of marrying well and starting a southern family. The way Kentucky approaches every phase of life, from birth to death is quintessentially southern in practice. I’ve traveled to every state in the union. Therefore, I’m well aware that the South, including Kentucky, seems to be the only region where strangers pay their respects to the bereaved by pulling over on the side of the road. Kentucky is a red state like the rest of the south showing exactly where its political values stand.
A Common History
A center point of southern culture is its adherence to tradition and history. Regardless if it makes you proud or ashamed, history is the immutable tie that binds Kentucky to the rest of the south.
Kentucky has been southern since 1792. As the first southern state admitted after the independence of America, Kentucky has been southern long before the Louisiana Purchase welcomed eight out of 13 southern states.
In addition to its longevity, both the president of the Confederate States and the United States during the civil war came from Kentucky…born 100 miles or so apart. A state’s relationship with the south during the time of the Civil War is really the determining factor of its legitimacy within the region. Kentucky straddled the fence during the War Between The States— wanting to remain one nation but maintain the institution of slavery too. After emancipation, Kentucky took on a more fervently southern identity. It clings to the “Just Cause” propaganda that is still taught in Kentucky Schools. Kentucky erected so many confederate statues it would be a wonder if any Kentuckian has ever seen a Union monument. It’s not uncommon for Kentucky folks to be able to look in their backyards and around their neighborhoods and be in a Civil War battleground or confederate grave yard. Now, what Northerner or Midwesterner can say the same?
Kentucky has Southern Street Cred (We’re Backwoods Legit)
Besides, the SEC college sports conference and Southern Living Magazine recognizes Kentucky as southern. I’d say that’s confirmation enough. So with geography, history, and culture firmly planted in the south, there’s just no use in trying to dissociate Kentucky from its Southernness.
Every southern state boasts its own unique personality. Louisiana showcases its French and Creole heritage. The low country of South Carolina intertwines hospitality into its fabric. Cattle ranching culture plays a significant role in Texas’ notable style. We’ve got mountain states, cotton states, and sugar cane state(s) all of which provide a distinction from rest of the southern states. Like members of a family, each individual has a unique identity, but their kinship binds them all together. Kentuckians hold a kinship to other southerners that they don’t have with any other region of the US. Maybe it’s the accent. Perhaps it’s the menus we are nourished by or the behaviors we instill in our offspring regardless of where we raise them. I believe our way of living, colloquialisms, and fundamental reputation make Kentucky, without a doubt, southern through and through. Upper south or mid-south, yes, but entirely south nevertheless. And if you refuse to believe that well, bless your sweet little heart, you can just kiss my Kentucky bluegrass!
During winters in New England when the cabin fever sets in, it’s easy to fall into a state of nostalgia for my far away former Kentucky home. Some guides encourage reaching for a host of remedies to cure the homesickness disease. Photo albums, making phone calls, or working out are just a few suggestions. I find, when I’m missing Kentucky, nothing fights homesickness better than good ol’ comfort food seasoned with warm memories. That said, here’s a recipe that is sure to word off any homesickness Kentuckians living away from home may be feeling this winter, the classic Kentucky Hot Brown.
During winters in New England when the cabin fever sets in, it’s easy to fall into a state of nostalgia. Some guides encourage reaching for host of remedies to cure the homesickness affliction. I find, when I’m missing Kentucky, nothing fights homesickness better than good ol’ comfort food seasoned with warm memories. Here in Boston, southerners have to make their own comfort foods because stores around here do not sell southern staples like sweet tea and sweet potato pie pre-made.
CLASSIC HOT BROWN INGREDIENTS Makes Two Hot Browns
• 2 sticks (one cup) Butter • ¼ cup (2 oz.) All-Purpose Flour • 1 cup (8 oz.) Heavy Cream • ½ Cup of Pecorino Romano Cheese • Bourbon (enough or none at all) * • ¼ pound thick sliced roasted turkey breast • French bread/baguette • 4 Slices of crispy smoked pepper bacon • 2 Roma tomatoes • Paprika • Parsley • Salt and Pepper
PREP
Select
a thick, flavorful cut of turkey from your butcher or local deli. I chose pepper-maple
turkey. And since it’s just me, a ¼ pound slice was perfect. Soak the turkey in
enough* bourbon to cover overnight
(or three hours or more).
For the Sauce
While making the sauce, bake the turkey in the bourbon at 300 degrees.
In a saucepan, melt butter over medium heat and slowly whisk in flour until combined and forms a thick paste (roux). Continue to cook the roux, stirring frequently. Then add heavy cream into the roux and whisk until the cream begins to simmer (about 2‑3 minutes). Slowly whisk in Pecorino Romano Cheese until the sauce is smooth. Keep warm and add salt and pepper to taste.
Assembling the Sandwich
Slice
the French bread in half and into
sandwich sized slices. These will make two open-faced sandwiches.
Next, lightly toast the top of the French bread. I broiled it in a cast iron dish for this. You can also use Pyrex or a backing dish in a toaster oven.
After that, layer the toast with your warm bourbon baked turkey.
Then,
pour the cheese sauce completely over the sandwich.
Next,
top with tomatoes (where the
tomatoes go in the equation is debatable. Some like it under the cheese, I like
it on top so it boils).
Sprinkle
with additional Pecorino Romano cheese.
Place the entire dish under a broiler until cheese begins to brown and bubble.
While
it broils, fry your bacon.
Remove
the dish from broiler, cross two pieces of crispy bacon on top.
Garnish
with paprika, parsley, or cheese and serve immediately while hot.
Now, sit back in your reading chair with your bubbling Kentucky sandwich, a copper cup of bourbon apple cider, recall the history of the Hot Brown and dial (855) 883-8663 to hear our state song sang by the former governor, Happy Chandler.
Disclaimers:
Yes, I also recognize dang near all of my recipes call for bourbon which can be habit-forming for some. It’s a non-essential ingredient in most recipes. Just take it out if you need to.
*Take a peep here to understand my views on being precise with measurements in recipes and why I intentionally don’t do it.
I’m also aware of Happy Chandler’s problematic statements and views. Someone with a beautiful singing voice should record the song to give us more listening options.
One of the most magnetic people I know established my new favorite non-profit aimed at exposing a wider range of children to the thrills of aviation. Legacy Flight Academy accomplishes this goal at one-day, Eyes Above the Horizon events that take place in various cities around the county. Students interact with diverse pilots who instill the legacy of the Tuskegee Airmen and share tales of their flying adventures. The highlight of the day is an introductory flight in the cockpit of a single-engine plane. All of this is provided free of charge to anyone who takes advantage of the opportunity. I’d heard so much about this award-winning organization that I had to get involved. So I boarded a plane to fly to Houston to volunteer.
Legacy Flight Academy: Eyes Above The Horizon
Early on a Saturday morning children start filtering through the Lone Star Flight
Museum. I’m charged with leading a group of 20 or so 5th and 6th graders to their stations. The day
is divided into four parts: introductory flight, Tuskegee Airmen legacy lesson,
museum scavenger hunt, and hands-on simulation. Inquisitive, little minds absorb
all the information and start making connections with context they’ve been
provided. When they ascend into the sky,
a transformation takes place. Packed
full of new experiences, their little bodies come back down to Earth, but their
perspective never does. I have the privilege of watching it all take place
from a front row view.
While shepherding the children through the galleries on a scavenger hunt, something becomes apparent for the first time. Of all the exhibits on aviation, Bessie Colman was the only black female aviator featured…in the entire, huge museum! Granted it’s a Texas-heritage aviation museum and Ms. Colman was a native Texan, surrounded by all the aviation history gives the appearance that Bessie Coleman was one of a kind. She wasn’t. The stories of Mildred Hammons Carter, Willa Brown, and Janet Bragg are equally fascinating, especially for their time. They taught countless other black men and women to fly. Even with my background in history, spending my life in the Air Force, and teaching Air Force History, I had not been fully cognizant of the dearth of aviators that look like me until this moment.
We laud the Tuskegee Airmen as the nation’s first military unit for African-American pilots. However, it wasn’t for all African-American pilots; just the male ones. Words matter, and so do the omission of words. When we leave out the word “male,” although perhaps implied, it glosses over the lack of opportunity for black women. Not explicitly stating the U.S. Army’s Tuskegee Flight School Experiment solely selected black men alters the context from a sense of inclusion for all black people to the reality of the exclusion of over half the black population.
While it is also essential to recognize that the U.S. military barred women in general from combat, and thus fighter pilot slots, during World War II, it’s also crucial to make abundantly clear, that black, female pilots, although qualified for non-combat flights, faced both gender and racial discrimination. Even today, unless you specifically hunt for the contributions of black, female aviators, you won’t find them mentioned in movies or websites including Tuskegee University’s own. Even the supporting contributions women provided, to include training the Tuskegee Airmen to fly, are omitted.
The same is true for the Women’s Auxiliary Army Corps (WAAC) and Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASP). It wasn’t an inclusive program for all women. It specifically disqualified black women. So it wasn’t a Women’s Auxiliary Army Corps. It more accurately should be called the “White Women’s Auxiliary Army Corps” with a few waivers for non-black Women of Color.
I’d always identified with both groups of ground-breaking pioneers, only to realize that I wouldn’t have been welcomed in either. We are still witnessing the early years of black female aviation. The first black woman to fly in combat was in 2001! That’s 60 years after the Tuskegee Airmen and WASP! Recognizing neither group would have had a place for me to fly was depleting as well as telling.
After the all-day event wrapped up, a pilot for United Airlines
invited the Legacy Flight Academy volunteers to crash at her sprawling secondary
home. Fewer than 150 African-American women hold
a pilot’s license (airline, commercial, military or instructor); she’s one of
them. She’s also a founding member of Sisters of the Skies, a non-profit organization founded in 2015. This organization doesn’t just accept black
women as members, Sisters of the Skies is dedicated to increasing the number of
black female aviators. The friend who
invited me to volunteer, a military flight instructor, took the lead in
conducting a debrief and After Action Report to gain consensus on what went
right and what could be done better next time.
Legacy Flight Wrap Up
Someone once told me, “It’s either first class or no class.” Eyes Above the Horizon is first class all the way. I’m still impressed that people that I call friends could dream this experience and turn it into an extraordinary reality. From the expansive museum and its knowledgeable staff, the pilots who volunteered their aircraft, fuel, and time, to the leaders who organized the event, everything was fantastic. This community undertaking drew in over 100 Houston-area kids. Since this was my first experience with the Legacy Flight I only had praise to offer.
It’s About Belonging
With all the children gone, the volunteers and staff gathered at a local pilot’s home. Chillin’ around a kitchen, eating pizza and wings, laughing, joking, and contributing to the lighthearted revelry, we conducted a business meeting. I was in awe of the moment. There I was, surrounded by black excellence. It’s a situation that rarely happens for me, yet everything about it was familiar. Surrounded by people that I just met earlier that day, I felt at home. I knew it would be a long while before this happened again, so I intentionally captured the moment in my mind.
For instance, I’d estimate there are fewer than 10 black officers on my Air Force base. Without intentional efforts, I can go months without contact with peers from a similar cultural background. aired with my history of perpetually being “the only one,” camaraderie with black peers has been an infrequent indulgence my whole life. Even more infrequent as an Air Force officer is the opportunity to observe other black officers lead and the access to socialize with aviators, let alone black aviators.
Around 10 flyers or so floated around the house. In addition to my flight instructor buddy, there’s one of his flight students, a bright, young woman who divided her attention between her studies and the lively conversation. Another aviator present, a fighter pilot who earned his flying license before his driver’s license shared a video of his first flight solo as a child. A Surveillance and Reconnaissance pilot recalled highlights of the day which included the children asking if he can see outer space from his aircraft…he can! The question and answer session took an awkward turn when the kiddos got very officious about his bathroom habits while wearing a spacesuit. He’d just recently bought his own plane for recreational flying.
A commercial airline pilot, who also flies for the Air Force reserves lamented his economical travel arrangements of riding shotgun to Texas, sitting on the uncomfortable hump (also known as the jump seat) between two the two pilots flying the plane. Navigators, air battle managers, and a few others with careers in aviation talked and joked with the group. And then there was me. As the furthest removed from aviation, I was a guest within the group but very much deeply embraced. We all just exchanged ideas, vibed, and enjoyed one another’s company. It was a pleasure.
I recalled a former, non-black Naval Aviator who once said Top Gun was what inspired him to fly. Nothing about Top Gun appealed to me. When I watch Top Gun, I see an environment where I’m likely to get touched without my consent. In that situation, I can predict that I’ll have perspectives and ideas to share, but the group will dismiss them. Talked over and interrupted will be standard behavior.
Additionally, I can expect to be misunderstood and mischaracterized. I will have to tolerate racist micro-aggressions and get accustomed to both casual and overt sexism for the sake of being tolerated at all. I’ll be spoken to condescendingly or harshly if at all. They’ll go play volleyball on the beach, and I won’t even be invited (notice, the volleyball scene did not include the only black guy in the Top Gun flight class; that’s remarkably accurate). If included by the group at all, there will be a sense that I am involved out of obligation. They’ll find singing “That Loving Feeling” amusing. I won’t. But I’ll have to pretend I do to avoid being the stick-in-the-mud. In other words, I can always expect to be ever so slightly out of place. Much like watching Top Gun from the screen, even if I were present in the group, I’d still most likely be on the outside looking in and kept at arm’s length.
Stanford University researchers Robin Ely and Debra Meyerson published a study that indicates that the male culture prevents women from excelling in corporate America. Other studies suggest that it is specifically White Male Culture that detours those who are not white and male from participation or struggling when they do. I’d surmise that’s a major reason minorities and women avoid careers in aviation. In other words, it’s not necessarily a lack of exposure, interest, or ability; it’s the culture.
Another study states, “Like fish in water, many white men never have to leave their culture from birth to boardroom. Often they are unaware they have a culture that others must negotiate.” Perhaps people outside of this culture are like aquatic frogs. We can swim with the fish from time to time but eventually, need to come up for air. Until hanging out with these guys, I never knew there was air for a temporary reprieve.
Among this group, I don’t stand out. There is no foreign culture to navigate. My dual consciousness isn’t employed. I don’t have to walk on eggshells to avoid my entire race being stereotyped by any action that I do that’s perceived as negative. I don’t need to regulate myself into perfection in order to debunk stereotypes. Any positive attributes aren’t seen as exceptional for my race because being exceptionally brilliant and talented is expected. I’m not tone-policed. I’m not a novelty, token, or commodity. Around these folks, my voice is heard and appreciated. Here, no topics are avoided. For example, we discussed the merits of attending Cornell versus Hampton for undergrad which largely centered on race, inclusion, and acceptance. One of the volunteers, the only Caucasian aviator in the group, quietly listened. No one felt compelled to code switch to accommodate his comfort. We were all free to be our authentic selves.
After Party Socialization
After stuffing our faces and concluding the meeting, we suited up for esprit de corps in the Houston nightlife. I did not stand out in the bar. It’s a rare occasion that going out with colleagues doesn’t include Journey, Bohemian Rhapsody, Copperhead Road, or Sweet Caroline. Although I’ve certainly had a blast belting out the words to Don’t Stop Believing and doing the Copperhead Road line dance, that music usually doesn’t make the cut to my celebration playlist. It’s just as foreign to me as shouting, “tickie tockie tickie tockie” under an Octoberfest tent in Munich. Fun. But Foreign.
Lasting Effects of Legacy Flight Academy
After that weekend I did some research. That research led me to the ground school at my local aero club the following Wednesday. Not long after that, I took my first flight lesson with me in control of the throttle. I Flew A Daggum Airplane! I finally understood the hype my aviator friends had been talking about. That night my dreams were about flying. This is the impact of representation. Having access to a flying community whom I could identify and where I belonged with was all it took to convince me to consider aviation after decades of being aviation adjacent.
In short, it’s not enough to sell aviation as a cool thing to do. That doesn’t make flying any different from all the other cool stuff active, ambitious people do every day. People want to belong. Deep down, everyone wants to be part of something wonderful; that’s the very reason I traveled to Houston in the first place. The camaraderie within an elite network is what makes this profession or hobby unique. Knowing there’s a tight-knit community of people like me and has always been a community like me, is the most significant selling point in encouraging diversity in aviation. Being part of the flying world touches on the top three of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Who knew, I traveled to Houston to volunteer to plant seeds of aviation excellence in the impressionable minds of children not knowing Legacy Flight Academy would sow those seeds in me as well.
***If you’d like to be part of something great by supporting the early exposure to the thrill of aviation to a wide range of children, you can donatehere or inquire about volunteer opportunities. To learn how you can bring Eyes Above The Horizon to your hometown check out the Legacyflightacademy.org website. You can also list Legacy Flight Academy as your Amazon Smile non-profit. Or donate as a birthday gift to me on my Facebook link or LFA’s.
Come feel the omnipresent spirit of African Ancestors in Charleston.
When I planned my weekend getaway to Charleston, I fully intended on basking
in all the southern-ness I’d been yearning for while living in Boston. I’d chat
with gracious southerners with incomparable etiquette. I’d dine on delectable
southern cuisine. Most of all, I intended
on giving my ears a break from the harshness of the Bostonian accent to capture
the sweetest of twang. Charleston is,
after all, the crown jewel of the south. Its timeless allure is immortalized in
American folklore and literature. It is where you go when you need a super does
of southern charm. Although I went to
Charleston for its southern-ness, I never expected that I’d be surrounded by
its African-ness as well. All-the-while the city is touted as the epicenter of
quintessential southern gentry, I’ve rarely heard it positioned as a starting
point of Africans in American. Yet, when I visited, I was constantly surrounded
by the works and stories that drew a bridge to my own past.
This history and culture of Charleston is the history of the African majority who built and developed the city from the colonial era onward. It is impossible to separate the history of Charleston from the history of the Africans that populated the city for over 300 years. You don’t have to go looking for the history of Black Americans in South Carolina — it hits you right in the face. The African people of Charleston are not an aside to the city, or a footnote. Charleston was not influenced by Africans, but built by Africans in every way. They were and still are the heart of the city.
My first stop of the weekend was Fort Sumter. Etched into memory from history class, it’s always been on my list of places to see. Being the hyper planner that I am, I arrived as their first customer of the morning. I purchased my ticket for the ferry across the bay but it didn’t leave until another two hours at 11. That gave me time to check out the Old Slave Mart Museum.
While touring the Old Slave Mart, or Ryan’s Mart as it was called in the days of slavery, I learned an estimated 80 percent of African Americans today had at least one ancestor who was kidnapped from the Senegambia region then quarantined at Sullivan Island, often for over a month, before being brought into the city. While I can’t know for sure, it is reasonable to believe, that I have some ancestor, from some branch of the family tree that came through this seaport. Considering that probability, the city became more personalized. This wasn’t just a trendy southern city. I was no longer just a history tourist on the outside looking in at a foreign history. This city provides clues to my family’s potential first steps in America.
Initially, Charleston didn’t have a designated spot for the sale of Africans. It was customary for Europeans to buy and sell African people randomly on sidewalks all over town. These spontaneous sales drew inconvenient crowds for pedestrians and carts trying to make their way around town. Ryan’s Mart was built in 1856 to alleviate the sidewalk congestion. Now, Charleston had undergone series of legislation banning the public sale of humans in 1839 as a way of being discrete. That law was overturned a decade later by anti-abolitionists as a way of doubling down on their shamelessness of the institution.
Looking at the cobble stone roads, I wondered if any of
my family members, or people who knew my family were creepily inspected on the
side of the roads to be bought and sold like a used futon prior to the mart’s
construction. Or perhaps someone who
cross paths with my ancestors survived time spent in the barracoon of the slave mart. Could all the trauma and heartbreak contained
in this concrete cell be part of my family’s initial experience in this
country? Through these walls, mamas,
most certainly clinging to their little girls knowing the fate of adolescent
girls being considered the property of ruthless men. Young sweethearts, crazy in love, waited for
the impeding separation, never to see each other again. Mothers never knew what
became of their toddlers and children never knew if they had other brothers and
sisters out there.
According to
displays in the museum, Ryan’s Mart was advertised in newspapers across
the south. Even enslavers in Mobile, AL would know when an auction was scheduled
and pay a dealer to purchase and deliver people who were enslaved. Those people
would be marched in shackles from Charleston to Mobile while the white
deliverer would ride alongside of them.
If you could imagine…that’s a 9-hour drive on the highway today but
walking back then would take weeks. This job illustrates that even individuals that
might not have “owned” African people as property, their livelihood still depended
on the propagation of the slave industry. Being in the Old Slave Mart connected
dots on possible stories of my family’s history. My family has lived an hour’s
drive north of Mobile since the end of the Civil War. While Mobile Bay was a
significant slave port, most of those enslaved African people had been brought
over after being “seasoned” for slave life in the Caribbean. I pondered if my people were part of that
crew or the Charleston set? Or both?
After an hour and a half, the museum stimulated
my curiosity and provided more data to use for research. I dashed back to my
rental parked in two-hour parking right outside the museum then headed back to Fort Sumter National Monument.
The National Parks Department curated a small but impactful
museum in the ferry waiting area that doesn’t gloss over some of the less
touted realities of antebellum life that history books often omit. Founded in
1663, Charleston became predominantly black by the first decade of the
1700s. By 1770, the Charleston harbor
was the nation’s fourth largest port after Boston, New York, and
Philadelphia. At the end of the century,
Charleston distinguished itself as the wealthiest city in British North America
(including the Caribbean). All of its wealth was made possible by its slave
industry. Of America’s major cities, Charleston was the only one with a history
of having the majority of its residents enslaved. In fact, the majority of all South Carolina
residents were enslaved. The irony… South Carolina, a state in America — the
bastion of freedom, enslaved most of its residents. The city stayed
predominately African until the great migration during the industrial
revolution of the early 20th century.
Once out on the island fort, the park ranger gave a
spill on the history of Ft Sumter. He was a high energy, charismatic, retired
Marine Colonel who implored the visitors to use our imaginations to put
ourselves in the shoes of the people of Charleston at the start of the Civil
War. Empathy, he contended, was vital to
the study of history and human understanding. Just like current events of
today, that time period had so many perspectives to consider. With that in mind, I considered what I’d be
thinking if I was a young, enlisted soldier doing my daily duties while gearing
up for the impending battle. I measured my priorities if I was the commander of
the fort, knowing supplies were low and the confederates were getting hostile. I
imagined being one of the aristocrats watching the battle from the porch of my
ocean-side home. But what I pondered most was the perspective I’d have if I
were one of the enslaved people who laid the bricks to build the fortress. I
wondered if the hands of one of my ancestors built the bricks that now surrounded
me. I ran my hands across as many as I could just in case.
The prevailing viewpoint is the realization that all the
grandeur of the city of Charleston depended on the wealth made possible by
forced, African labor. With the federal government placing bans on the peculiar
institution, the source of income of southerners would be gone (…with the
wind). That meant no more fashionable
gowns imported from Europe. No more life of leisure, porch sitting. Cultural
developments such as America’s first theater building, Dock Street Theater (1736),
was made possible by the wealth of the slave economy. The city’s first libraries came from slave
money. Every nicety enjoyed by the Charleston elite life came from the work of
the kidnapped and enslaved African majority.
So it’s understandable that people, reluctant to change, would hold on
to the last of their livelihood as long as possible. It’s not unlike folks of
today holding on to fleeting or dangerous economies (Coal. Guns. etc).
Two and half hours
later I was back in the city and starving.
At the recommendation of a friend, a South Carolina native, I ate my
fill of mac & cheese and dirty grits (In Charleston they called the dish shrimp
‘n grits…but once you add the sausage and gravy…they qualify as dirty grits) at Poogin’s Porch. The two sites I’d just visited framed my point
of reference and my approach to absorbing historical Charleston. The cityscape
captured my imagination of what used to be. Roaming the streets, I envisioned some
distant relative once traveled the same path as me. I reckoned they probably
looked at the same exchange building or churches I passed. Gadsden Wharf was the busiest port for the nation’s slave trade capitol. But on this day, I
watched an energetic fitness influencer pose for a photoshoot.
As I wandered the streets, words from Olaudah Equiano’s autobiography came to mind, “We are almost a nation of dancers, musicians, and poets,” he wrote. The beautiful, ornamental wrought iron work featured prominently around the city were designed and created by talented African blacksmiths. The sweet grass baskets that Charleston is famous for (and charges a small fortune), are the handicrafts of West Africa. The bricks that line the streets, make up the stately antebellum homes, and hold up Fort Sumter were all made by enslaved Africans. The food culture of Charleston was made famous by African cooks, chefs, and caterers like Nat Fuller and Sally Seymour. The beautiful gowns seen painted in portraits likely designed and stitched by African seamstresses, made out of African cultivated cotton, and all financed through African labor. Any building, church, home, artifact of the period in the town, was either created by the wealth of enslaved African labor or physically built by the Africans themselves. Even modern buildings were likely built from local revenue which continues to profit off of the antebellum history tourism (i.e. plantation weddings and tours). Equiano’s words were omnipresent as I wandered the painstakingly preserved French quarter streets. This nation too, was full of talented African artisans and craftsmen. Every street I turned down I was surrounded by the works of my ancestors.
The last stop of my Saturday was the ancestral plantations of the Drayton family at Magnolia Plantation. Just six years ago, the plantation started to acknowledge the overlooked narrative of all the people who lived on this plantation. It offers a “From Slavery to Freedom” tour. I was suspicious of the how the plantation would approach this narrative when I bought my ticket. But my suspicions were alleviated by the tactful docent who led the tour with the dignity and respect the stories deserved. The original slave shacks remaining on the plantation tell the stories of five different time periods. The descendants of enslaved people lived in these cabins and took care of the grounds until the late 1990s when the last passed away. I had been under the impression enslavers didn’t document where the people that they enslaved came from. But they did. In fact, in Charleston, they were very particular about where they seized people. Africans from the Senegambia region were specifically targeted for their rice cultivation skills. Before cotton became king in the south, rice was the cash crop of coastal South Carolina. Charleston enslavers had been primarily familiar with rice farmers until they took hold of Angolan warriors. The warriors were transported over, said, “Oh hell nah,” then killed everybody at Stono Rebellion (also called Cato’s Conspiracy) just a little way outside of Charleston. At the time, 40 percent of Africans in Charleston were kidnapped from the region now recognized as Angola. After the revolt, a decade-long hiatus in abductions from Angola, among other preventative measures, took effect.
The Year 2019 marks the 400th year that the ship, White Lion, docked in Virginia carrying the first people who were enslaved in America. Ghana has declared 2019 as “The Year of Return” and invites all people of African descent to visit the West African nation. If visiting your ancestral lands in Africa isn’t an option, Charleston makes a more accessible option. Even if your ancestors didn’t arrive in America this way, Charleston is steeped in the details that you can’t learn from textbooks and still worth the visit. Even after majoring in history, this weekend tourist trip to Charleston willed in so many gaps in the lessons I learned in school. If you’re looking for something more international, but closer than Africa, The Bahamas, Barbados, St. Kitts, Haiti, and Jamaica are other, closer options for a Black History Month getaway with deeply rooted African history that connects the stories of America’s African history as well.
New York City has no shortage of beautiful and iconic backdrops for your shoot. I’ve collected the advice from talented photographers I know, did my own research, plus my own experience from my latest photoshoot in NYC to give you tips on creating a successful photoshoot in NYC or elsewhere. So, regardless if this photoshoot is to add a professional touch to your insta or for timeless family keepsakes I hope this post save you time in your planning efforts.
Understand the Purpose of Your Shoot
Not only should you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve during this photoshoot, you need to make sure everyone involved understands that too. If you’re imagining an edgy artistic concept while your photographer is thinking grace and elegance, that’s sure to lead to frustration and disappointment in the end.
If a single picture is worth 1000 words, and you’re going to be taking pictures for hours, think of a photoshoot as a photo novel…and you’re the main character. Take some time to understand the story and narrative you want to tell. Check Pinterest, IG, and other social media sites to guide you. Consider making an inspiration board with all the photos that appeal to you. Be able to articulate what attracts you to the photos you select. For example, is it the editing, the use of lights and shadows, the minimalism or maximalism, the filter, the posing that draws you into the photograph? Take all of this to provide your concept to your photographer.
“Winging it can be fun but you need at least a rough plan of action. Make sure both sides know and agree on a game plan. So plan, plan plan…and then don’t forget to be spontaneous!” — Aaron Mann, photographer, Back Home Again Photos
Select the Photographer That can Tell That Story
Knowing what kind of shoot you want to achieve is going to help you select a photographer. While a wedding photographer can certainly do other styles of photos, his or her area of expertise is couples, not children. So, if you’re photographing a pack of rug rats, you might want to reconsider. Look at the portfolio and determine if your photographer has the experience to make your vision come to life.
Clearly, not New York City. But the photographer and I worked together to come up with the concept to tell the story of home.
Other considerations:
Also make sure you choose a photographer that knows the city or area.
Make sure your energy levels and personalities complement each other. You’ll be spending a lot of time with each other, you’ll want to be comfortable with each other. In fact, be sure everyone involved in the day has compatible personalities.
When I selected a photographer, I knew I wanted to work with my friend, Keith Brooks. Other places you can check for photographers (outside of a google search) Flytophotographer or Freelance.com or KYMA or even Craig’s list
Selecting a location
Your inspiration board is going to direct your location. Manhattan is expansive. And you’ll be covering a lot of ground if you try to get pictures of everything. I suggest sticking to one neighborhood. Since my concept was exploring SoHo and Brooklyn, two neighborhoods relatively close to each other, it wasn’t much distance between each shot and offered plenty of things to shoot along the way.
For family photoshoots you’re going to need easy access to bathrooms and room for little ones to release their energy. Consider Central Park, smaller parks, and the Central Park Zoo for photoshoots involving children.
Under the Manhattan Bridge is a popular photo opportunity for tourist.
Date and Time
The early model gets the most popular tourist attraction. Highly iconic spots: Flatiron building, Brooklyn Bridge, DUMBO, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, the Imagine Mosaic, Top of the Rock are all going to have thousands of tourists doing the same thing as you. Get there early at first light golden hour if possible. Also remember that the light has a way of playing peek-a-boo with skyscrapers casting shadows as the sun moves throughout the day. Check sunrise and sunset schedules. If possible, do a bit of homework and check the way the sun looks at certain locations at certain points of the day and schedule your shoot around those times. Also keep weather and season in mind.
Hair and Make up
If you’re going to have hair style changes, do the most challenging hair style first. That means, that effortless messy bun that takes a ton of effort to achieve…come with that already done. It’s a lot easier to undo it for later shots than put it up. Bring make-up wipes to get that MAC lip color off and change up the style. Depending on your style, faux lashes never really hurt anyone.
Go to Sephora and have them teach you how to contour. You can make multiple visits to learn different techniques. Better yet, bring a talented friend along or schedule your shoot after getting your makeup applied.
This was a test shot done with my friend’s iPhone while the photographer was adjusting lenses and playing with light. Test shots are helpful for the subject and photographer.
What to wear
I planned attire that was easy to switch up. I had leggings which could easily be worn under jeans, under a skirt, and as standalone pants (regardless of what the modesty police try to say). That’s a quick change for three outfits. I also wore a tank top under my shirt and sweaters for easy top changes without the need of a changing room. I brought a pair of comfortable walking shoes plus some sassier shoes. I packed a small jacket that was easy to fold into a small tote. Again, your concept is going to guide this. My friend who lives in NYC offered a whole rolling suitcase of outfit changes and boots. Coordinate with your photographer and most fashionable friends on what colors and patterns would work best.
All Black base makes an easy wardrobe change with the right accessories.
Props
I’m a notebook and reading book kind of girl so those are always my go-to accessories, but consider pens, umbrellas, guitars, cameras, etc.
Fashion accessories can change the overall look of an outfit. Change up a look with hats, scarves, gloves, totes, purses, jackets, change of shoes, hair accessories, sun shades, and faux reading glasses.
On location props- There’s always a street-side florist in the city that that you can buy flowers for a charming prop. Of course, just remember if you buy, instead of borrow, you’ll have to keep up with the flowers for the rest of the shoot or give them away. This last visit to the city, we also saw Christmas trees being sold. Could have been a cute prop doing a two-woman carrying of one of the trees but we passed.
Posing
Reference Google, Instagram, Pinterest or browse through your favorite magazine to practice and get an idea of at least three poses. Make one your signature pose.
Since I’m kind of a cheese ball, I’ve learned my signature pose is leaping. After reviewing several photos, I realize I’m always in the air. That doesn’t always work for sophisticated shoots. I’d suggest printing off a pose cheat sheet so you can recall some posing ideas on the spot.
Remember to take a few moments to loosen up from time to time. I had a tendency to get stiff and statuesque. Shaking my shoulders out and being reminded to keep my hands and face soft and relaxed helped.
Pre-coordination considerations
If you’re taking pictures indoor, you might have to make phone calls to the location just to be sure you have permission to photograph locations.
Create an itinerary. Select the locations, the types of shots you absolutely want at that location, and what makes efficient sense considering time of day, lighting, and travel times. Also take consideration on how you will get from point A to Point B. Sometimes it’s more cost and time efficient to take a Lyft. Other times you’ll be better off hailing a cab instead of waiting for a lift. If it’s rush hour, head underground for the metro.
Consider places for bathroom breaks. Starbucks serves as the default NYC public restroom so get an idea where the nearest one is in each of your locations ahead of time. Take the opportunity to go each time you have the chance.
In addition to your change of wardrobe, be sure to pack: Snacks, pain reliever, water, comfy shoes, dry socks for rainy days, lip glosses, makeup remover, and anything else unique to your shoot.
Get some rest the night before.
Eat a meal before your shoot. It’s best for you and the photographer to grab a bite in a coffee shop before. Reason one: you’ll be on the same eating schedule. Two, it’ll give you a moment to chat about the day.
And of course, relax and have fun during your shoot!
Selfie on the Brooklyn Bridge with my photographer, stylist, and creative director.
When last-minute trips happen, I’m so grateful for pre-planned city guides. I let Lee Tumbe’s 24 Hours in Miami guide my itinerary when I didn’t have time to plan my own trip. However, I did some tweaking for some personalization. I booked my first time in Miami less than a week in advance. This is my Miami itinerary to have an action-packed 24-hours in Miami. You may want to spread out the activities across two days and schedule more time to relax. Here’s what to do during a weekend in America’s hottest Beach town To get the Budget Breakdown, check this article out.
The Generator is a luxury hostel, yes, a luxury hostel that’s just 100 feet away from the beach and a 20-minute drive from the airport. The spot offers several sleeping options with the cheapest being a co-ed bunk room shared with 8 people. You could go upscale with a king to yourself. I opted for an all-girl bunk room. It could be fun to book an entire bunk room for a group of friends for a hen or bachelorette weekend. This hip hostel chain is popular across Europe an making its way to America. I totally recommend it. The arrangement offers a great way to socialize in a way that traditional hotels don’t offer. This hostel also has a cafe that makes a great brunch. If you’re short on time & money during your 24-hours in Miami, I highly recommend it.
If you’re not short on time and money, head on over to…
When I arrived, my only option was to sit so close to another couple that I could have been mistaken as part of their party. The little shop only has seven small café tables. The cafe was hot and humid. The door was left propped open. I guess the air conditioner didn’t work. Miami is the worst place to be AC bereft.
The space cleared out quickly. Of course, the spot by the ever-popular flamingo wall was taken by four athleisure-clad hotties dishing the scoop in Spanish. As soon as they left, a couple with a tall red-headed man relocated from their tiny table to the flamingo seating. For a bit, only the three of us were in the shop. When they left, I posed for my instagramable moment. The staff is made of photography pros. They understand that their setup was meant for photography. Heck, it’s the whole reason I went.
The Food
As Lee noted, the shop is out of the way and expensive, but they do offer a 10% military discount (that I forgot to ask for). All this highfalutin’ food set me back $45. The #28 Salmon & avocado sandwich ($16), #5 Smoothie berries, banana with almond butter ($11), and #22 dragon fruit bowl ($16) were all delish. But I paid $16 for a bowl of fruit.
It’s easy to eat vegan and gluten-free here but questionable if you have nut allergies as all the dairy is replaced with nut milks. I ate from an environmentally friendly, decomposable bamboo spoon. Even the takeaway bottles are made of reusable glass. Perhaps the lack of AC was intentional for environmental sake.
The food, although overpriced, was tasty and healthy. The setting is charming. I still maintain that I would not go out of my way to eat here, but it’s a nice option if you’re near Miami Beach Botanical Garden or the pedestrian-only Lincoln Ave Shopping Center.
Head over
to Miami
Like LeBron James illustrated when he said, he was, “Taking my talents to South Beach,” most people don’t realize Miami and Miami Beach are two separate cities with different Mayors. I just thought Miami Beach was the name of a beach in Miami. Miami is a coastal metropolitan in southeast Florida (population of 453,579). Miami Beach (population 91,917) is an island about 10 miles away and connected by bridge freeways.
This place was free for me with my military ID general adult admission is $22. The estate offers discounts to children, people with college IDs, and guests in wheelchairs. It’s closed on Tuesdays. The house was gorgeous but the gardens steal the show. You’ll spend plenty of time outside. You’ll want to get there as soon as it opens for the best lighting, avoid photo bombers, and beat the mid-day heat.
1030 Historic Black Police
Precinct
I’m a history buff so of course, I’m going to seek out the history of a town. Located in the heart of the historic black Overton neighborhood, the former courthouse and police department stands as a reminder of how segregated and divided this country has always been. The museum closes at 4 pm.
1130 Lunch at Jackson Soul Food
Just a 5-minute walk away. You’ll walk under an overpass that a community of people uses as shelter. I did it. You can do it too. Just don’t be surprised. Call the restaurant ahead of time because the hours can vary based on events.
This museum is free for military members. General adults pay $16. I strategically planned this museum after Vizcaya Museum and Gardens because it opens later and stays open. That gives me more time to enjoy each. The Perez Art Museum closes at 6 PM every day except Thursday when it extends its hours for three extra hours and Wednesday when it’s closed.
If I had to pay to see this museum, I’d probably also pass. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the modern art here far more than say the Guggenheim in Miami. However, it’s not the Louvre, which charges the same price. Plus, there’s so much free art in Miami that paying Louvre prices isn’t necessary. Now, the grounds outside the museum make a beautiful setting for a lovely stroll.
1400Frost Museum of Science
The science museum is right next door to the Perez Art Museum which is also free for those with military IDs. Otherwise, it’s $30 for “adults” over 12. Since I’m not overly sciencey and the science displayed here is juvenile in nature, I’d skip it. The planetarium shows, which costs military members an additional $5 could be a cool date idea. I was able to browse through both museums in an hour.
1500 Wynwood Walls
Speaking of free art…Wynwood Walls is an outdoor exhibit but all of Wynwood is full of art all over the walls. This is a legit outdoor museum with an indoor museum at the end.
Before the gentrification of Wynwood, things were affordable. Then the artists came and made the neighborhood cool and trendy. Then came the investors and priced the artists right out of the neighborhood.
1630 Azucar & Domino Park in Little Havana
Rounding out the day during your 24-hours in Miami, I went to the iconic Azucar Ice Cream Company. It’s on Calle Ocho. You cannot go to Miami without visiting the street PitBull, “Mr. 305” raps so nostalgically about!
Right across the street from the sugar shop you’ll find Domino Park. It’s beautiful to see dozens of people from across a diaspora come together, unite, and play dominos. It’s the culture that draws tourists to witness and observe. The action clears out around 6 pm.
Once the sun goes down, Little Havana is the place you’ll want to be. I ended up in ____ocho. It’s a Cuban restaurant that didn’t serve Cuba Libres. I settled for sangria and asked for the food menu. The waitress must have forgotten (or didn’t understand) because when I asked for the menu the third time, she present me with the check. I can’t vouch for the food but the live music and dancing set the ambiance. Oh well, back to Miami Beach.
2100 Night Life
You cannot spend 24-hours in Miami without dancing until dawn. After a shower and an outfit change, it’s time to rally on South Beach! Voodoo Rooftop Lounge & Hookah – This place is great. You can grab a meal, chill while smoking hookah, dance, and drink all in the same place. There’s no cover but they do ID. IT stays open until 3 am. Take a stroll down the strip and see where the night takes you.
Last week I introduced this series of “Best of America” posts explaining that my buddy was making the move to America from Germany. He’s never even visited before, and just like I was in his country five years ago, he is eager to start exploring mine. These are cities in America that I can’t wait to return for a visit and where I would never pass up an opportunity to live. Some towns a great for a short stay but these are towns where I’d consider saying forever. People ask where I could see myself settling down. Here’s my short list of contenders. If you have the chance, spend some time in these places to get a feel for all of these very different but very American cities.
1. Nashville, Tennessee
Nashville is like the boy who lived down the street that you never paid attention to until you see him all grown up and your like dang, have you been this awesome all along? I grew up just up the interstate from this town and it took leaving the country and returning to party on my “Welcome back” tour before I really learned how great this big town is. Granted, the possibilities of Nashville change dramatically once you turn 21.
It’s urban, country, hipster, and Christian all wrapped into one quintessentially southern city. This town takes pride in its culinary offerings. Sure, the southern classics are on point here, but this town is cultured enough to showcase foods from all over the world (try living in a town with one Chinese restaurant and one Mexican place and you’ll come to appreciate food diversity). Parks, landscapes, professional sports, SEC Sports, Parthenon, universities, museums, boutiques, music (not just country and bluegrass), and the people are the sweetest in the south.
Now, few people have learned that if you want anything out of me calling me sweetheart or darlin’ is a smart start (actually don’t, because I’m going to call you a sexist and get you a gender studies lesson so long with so much vehemence you’re going to have a complex about uttering those words to anyone else for the rest of your life). But the folks in Nashville (and southerners in general) can get away with it every day. And it’s hard to walk around grumpy when you’re getting called sweetheart all day every day.
2. New York City, New York
There’s nothing left so say about this city that hasn’t already been said in song. Whatever you want to do in life, you can do in New York City. In my short time spent in one borough, I walk the scenes of a black and white photos I’ve seen in history books. I got dressed up and went to Broadway. I experienced the crazy guy in the subway. I had to change my route to avoid getting catcalled. I got my hair down and got offered socks, and flashlights, and toothpaste. I ran a marathon in Central park (ok so I ran like a 2K on the same path as a marathoners were running, close enough), I ate well, I went to the shops, I went to the museums, I found long lost buddies living in the city. And this was just one section of a big city over the course of three days. There’s so much more! And although the real estate is steep…who needs more than a room with The City is your back yard?! New York is our American movable feast. New York is our everything and more.
3. San Diego, California
Back in our initial training, we were asked an ice breaker question about our favorite towns. Everyone mentioned some faraway place from a vacation memory of long ago. Everyone, except my bunkmate who proclaimed, “I’m from San Diego, and I think it’s pretty awesome.” How right and unbiased she was. San Diego is a great place to be young and single (old and single, or married with kids).
Let me describe my lifestyle if I lived in San Diego. After spending the night dancing the night away in Gas lamp, I’d meet up with friends for yoga in the park by the bay. After our sun salutations, we’d head to one of the dozens of options for tofu scrambles with mimosas. Mine you, I’m a carnivore, but I will eat the heck out of some teriyaki tofu. Maybe I’ll spend the afternoon with surf lessons or in a library or watching the game with UK Alumni Assoc. (because they always come on extra early west coast time). I’ll grab street tacos…which have ruined me and turned me into a Mexican food snob (Chipotle just doesn’t cut it any more). I’ll spend my years in flip flops and shorts. My dog will experience the chill life as well. With Dog parks, dog beaches, doggy day camps, pet resorts, all-natural, gourmet pet bakeries, and pet friendly shops and outdoor dining he will have an active social life. He can meet and be friends with sea lions in LaJolla(aka water dogs). Anytime there’s a concert, sporting event, performance, I’ll be there.
4. San Francisco, California
I’ve never fallen in love with a city as fast as I fell in love with San Francisco. Maybe I was having Euro withdrawals. Maybe I got to walk around in the setting of Princess Diaries. Maybe it was a perfect escape from SoCal. Whatever the case, I’ve never felt more at home in any other new city. The city’s layout with iconic cable cars remind me of Lisbon. Expensive real estate, that forces the acquisition of smaller apartments create the European social culture that turn coffee shops and restaurants into extensions of one’s living room to host and socialize with friends all night. The city doesn’t bat an eye at drinking wine in the park before noon. Plus there’s Little Italy and I’d argue the best China Town in the country. And that’s just lifestyle. Work-wise, industry, technology and startups thrive in the bay.
The walkability, active living, fresh food living, public transportation, ecofriendly, expats, food culture, sidewalk café that Le Corbusier lamented infested Paris are the pieces of sophistication that make San Francisco ideal.
5. San Antonio, Texas
If you’ve ever met a Texan, you undoubtedly are well aware of their almost scary, obsessive loyalty to their state. These are the kind of people that if they have a tattoo, it’s a permanent scar of their state. Or their state’s flag. Or both. Their homes, offices, and cars are decorated with Texas paraphernalia. These are the type of people who, while in labor, will hold their child in side until they can get some doggone Texas dirt under their bed and/or the Texas flag hung overhead so their offspring can be born on Texas soil and under the Texas flag. You know how guys who are taller than 6 feet always seem to find a way to let slip their height into the conversation? Like “Hi I’m brad, 6 foot and a half an inch tall.” Or Morehouse grads like to slip in that they are a Morehouse Alum within the first three sentences of meeting? Like the dude at the gate, after checking my ID, says, “Good Morning ma’am. Where’s you commission out of? Oh, I’m a Morehouse man, have a nice day.” Well, that’s also the tradition of a Texan. They will make sure you never mistake them as a resident of any other state. Even Beyoncé feels the need to randomly insert mention of Texas no less than 5 times per album. Seriously Bey, Texas as nothing to do with anything else in Daddy Lessons, Countdown, Who Run the World, or Bow Down.Anyway…San Antonio was once my #1 favorite town in the world before traveling everywhere else. It wont take a long visit before this intoxicating city has you wanting to adopt Texas as your home. It’s military friendly in a way that no other town in America is (even all the ones with bases) and blends Texican culture and heritage in a way you can’t find elsewhere. Plus their Missions baseball taco mascot is pretty worthy of fandom on it’s own.
6. Washington, DC
There’s no doubt the DMV is a fantastic area. DC was the final destination on my first flight journey. It’s where I first road an escalator. It’s where I first met someone who didn’t speak English who helped me how to use an automatic sink for the first time. Now that I think about it, I started school with a daddy-daughter vacation and ended school the same way.
When deciding the priority of marvel in relation to the other locations on this list, I had to weigh some odds. You have all four seasons, but one of those seasons, it snows (actually, snow is possible in three seasons). Central location to other fabulous cities (Philly, B-more, Annapolis, NYC) but it snows. It’s on the same side of the country to my family. But it snows. But the capitol building looks amazing in the snow. And after the snow comes the blossoms. In DC, the world comes to you. The moment you step out of your door you can touch education, culture, history, and the best that America has to offer.
7. Scottsdale, AZ
To be honest, I can’t tell where Scottsdale ends and Phoenix begins, so installment includes the grater phoenix area, to include Tempe. Spa resorts, professional sports, boutique shops, old west history, desert mountain hikes, cultural developments, active living, fine living, even a really nice church (New City Church) is what draws me to this area of Arizona. Plus, the night life and brunch life are tops. It’s hotter than Hades all summer, but the weather all winter and the amenities make it worth it. The weather is also what makes it a snow-birder’s paradise. To escape the frigid cold elsewhere, folks spend their winters here then return to their second homes elsewhere when temperatures rise.
8. Boston (and the surrounding area)
Imagine calling America’s hometown your hometown. When you almost twist your ankle after your stiletto gets caught in the cobblestone, remember Phyllis Wheatley, Louisa May Alcott, and Abby Adams likely walked in the same narrow alleyways. When you are being cheered on/ or doing the cheering with throngs of supporters in the city’s annual marathon, remember Katherine Switzer who did the same while running away from officials trying to physically remove her from path. When the suburbs get flooded with history enthusiasts in red coats, remember the events that forged a nation that happened right here! During the summer Boston is my #3 favorite city in America. This area would have received a higher rating if it wasn’t so frickin’ cold in the winter. But for the months when it is warm, the locals really take advantage. Boston is a town of runners and rowers. It’s sensory overload with plenty to see, do, eat and experience packed in a little, walkable space. The pride people take in their city adds to its charm. As do the accents and grumpy commuters. Although the night life needs a little help (why is last call at midnight? Why can’t I double fist? Why are happy hours banned?), living in Boston is the pulse of New England.
9. Portland, Oregon
“Why didn’t you tell Portland was so awesome? I know you’ve been here!” One of my (Texan) friends texted me during her recent city break to this river town. She was correct, I had visited and Portland is indeed, such a trendy town. And in en effort to share the wealth, Portland is one of my favorite American cities. Portland offers all the typical amenities that make cities easy faves: professional sports, walkability (with the exception of San Antonio), varied nightlife, art, local food diversity, quaint boutiques, and transportation system. Like California, Portland offers easy access to wineries, beaches, and ski resorts and a laidback style. What makes this city unique is that it’s eclectic. If Portland could be a character, it would be a fusion of Ms. Frizzle and Mary Poppins. Features that I love about Portland include high-end shopping without the sales tax, Saturday Market (which happens on Sunday), free-flowing craft beer, and a very open, non-pretentious attitude. Art is integrated in the everyday lifestyle, from local made crafts to the tattoos. Artful expression can unquestionably be found in the food. I can’t pinpoint a particular niche of food the city is known for, other than fresh and local. The town is constantly reinventing its food with a creative twist. I love that Portland’s iconic rose garden was designed just in case bombs destroyed all of Europe’s rosebushes during World War I. Don’t worry, even in times of war, America is dedicated to securing roses from extinction.
10. Molokai, Hawaii
It’s the most Hawaiian of the islands, unspoiled by tourism. It’s the closest you can get to your own private beach. It’s the tropical version of my hometown where everyone knows everyone else. Except you can sit on your back porch and watch whales. And in the event that this gets old, you’re a ferry ride or prop plane hop to more action packed Maui or change of pace Lanai. And who wouldn’t want to own memories of Hawaii?! My only issue is it seeming to be on the edge of the universe from the rest of the world (AKA my world aka Kentucky & Paris).
A friend from Germany informed me he got a coveted position to live and work in America! He’s super excited and ready to explore all the best America has to offer in his limited, three-year tour. Since I’m the only person living in America that he knows, he asked for some direction on where to start. With all that is going on in our nation right now, which seems to highlight the worst in my country, I got excited to reflect on the best of America. I’m so thankful that I had the opportunity to take two cross country road trips and see the glory of all fifty states. So I have some idea about America’s most interesting spots. But how do you prioritize these trips that took me my entire life to accomplish?
How do you plan a three-year American vacation for someone who has never visited America?
There’s just so much to see and do and never enough time or money. And from the citizen’s perspective, we take so much for granted that an expat finds unique. From historical sites to annual events, you’ve got to get the full American experience and you don’t have countless opportunities to redo the experience. How do you make the most out of America in the three years he’s given? If you only had three years left in America, what would you do and see?
So, I’ve decided to start a “Best of America” series to help a friend plan his trip & for me to quantify all that I’ve seen in the past few years in my American adventures. Stay tune, because I’ve outgrown blogger and in the process of upgrading this blog! But until that happens, here are my quick assessments of my American travels to pass this information on in the meantime.
Usually when it comes to storytelling it’s best to start at the beginning. But this is the kind of story that needs to start from the ending and be told in rewind.
When my feet were back on Earth, I knew I just pressed through a new limit. I felt like a little kid wanting to rush to get back in line for the cool, curvy, long tunnel slide at the park.
Jumping out of a plane or rather, flopping out of a plane, was the thrill of my life. As you start accelerating toward the Earth, there’s uneasiness about it. The initial panic of falling takes hold. And yet, although you feel like you are falling…there’s no land underneath your feet, the Earth doesn’t seem to get any closer. Once you top out at your maximum speed of 120 miles an hour…which is a speed that will get you passed by a Volkswagen hatchback on the autobahn in the far right lane… you just chill and loosen up and start enjoying the ride. You stop being cognizant that you are actually still free-falling. You get their surreal sensation that you are just hanging out in the air, the World far beneath you — out of reach. Floating. Dare I say… flying.
While hanging out suspended in the sky, I learned that a sky diver has an amazing amount of control in the air. You can direct your fall. You can spin, flip, soar along. My photographer soared around Conner, my tandem instructor, and I to get the best shots from all angles. How can he do that? I asked, skill in the free-fall. Conner explained with his arms. In fact, Conner was holding my hands because in my panic, I wasn’t aware of what I was doing with my hands and it was unintentionally moving us around in the sky. We just chilled and chatted a while before the chute deployed. Conner took it upon himself to unsnap the buckle across my chest. What the heck do you think you’re doing?! I expressed so serious concern for things coming undone in the air. He tells me to chill out and to push my butt out…cus that’s a normal thing for a guy who is strapped to your back to say. So I did and, sure enough, I was sitting, comfortably in the sky. The two of us chatted and enjoyed the SoCal scenery from above as we slowly floated back down to Earth. There’s the city, the Pacific Ocean and mountains all down below.
Conner asked me, “So, you think you’ll do a jump by yourself?” While we floated, I thought there was no way I’d hurl myself out of an airplane. I don’t even do upside down roller coasters. To me, jumping solo would be like giving yourself a bikini wax. I might be able to apply the wax, but no way am I just going to yank it off myself. “We need more pretty girls in the sport, “he flirted. Homeboy was working for his tip and it worked like a charm. I just might be willing to fulfill this diversity shortfall (pun!). The ride to the ground was so unbelievable.
Even with all my creativity, floating in the sky was more than I could imagine just 15 seconds earlier.
Fifteen seconds before, experienced jumpers, first-time jumpers, photographers, and videographers all piled in this little, bitty propeller plane. Some folks didn’t even have seats and just sat on the floor next to the door. It took me back to sophomore year of high school when Andrew was the first in our crew to get his license and we took it as a challenge to see how many 16-year-olds could fit in his Honda Civic at one time as we cruised our town’s main street.
The party-like atmosphere in the plane with all the joking and co-workers poking fun at each other made the whole situation relaxed without focusing on the crazy adventure we were about to experience. At some point during our climb to out 15K feet, Conner says, “Let’s do this, come sit on my lap.”
Everyone starts moving about like musical chairs in the tightly packed cabin with bench jump seats. Now I am not a type-A kind of person…I usually go with the flow. But when it comes to hopping out of a perfectly functioning aircraft…Type-A, micromanaging missy arrives. While Conner was attaching himself to me, I was steady double checking everything he clipped on and tightened. I know the value of double checking for human errors when it comes to safety or security. This was no time for a mental lapse. I didn’t even recognize how obvious I was making it until one of the pros called me out on it.
“Man, your partner has no faith in you.” He said.
Conner tells me with the straightest face, “If we get separated on this jump, just meet back at the little yellow square where we started.”
The little yellow box was where divers stood to get the three-minute “pre-flight training.” The training consisted of explaining what was going to happen more than what we needed to do in case of emergency. My boss, who flies and jumps out of air planes for a living, already gave me the run down. He predicted they’d give me a lame briefing concealed as training and omit issues that folks who don’t jump wouldn’t know to ask. So what happens if the jumped passes out of has a heart attack? What are the winds like today? Where’s the pull for the reserve chute? Asking the questions seemed to throw the staff off. They weren’t expecting inquiry. My co-worker and soul sister asked the same questions in her training. And got the same reactions…”These are very intelligent questions but don’t worry about that. Nothing will go unplanned.” No. What happens? She pressed before getting an answer.
I gave Conner my, unamused face. I know he is not playin’ right now! I knew about the reserve chute. I knew the canopy would deploy if, at a certain altitude we were still moving at 120 mph. What I never considered was what if I came aloose from the harness (aloose…my Alabama grandma used that word…if you need a definition, use context clues).
I was strapped to him so tight it was impossible to separate from him. He was basically wearing me something like the adult version of what parents of infants walk around with their baby attached to them. I think there were two jumps before me. Conner stood and I had no choice but to stand with him. Homeboy must have killer quads to lift me like that. He made the decision how and when to flop out of the plane. So there was not backing out. No matter what, wherever he went, I was going too.
My photographer was hanging on to the side of the plane waiting for us just to fall out before diving toward us in the sky.
A few life events brought me to this point. I’d fallen (pun!) into an inactive, slump toward the end of last year and wanted to re energize myself in the upcoming year. So when I came across a discount for tandem skydiving on Groupon back in December, I jumped (pun!) on the opportunity. Plus, I was supposed to jump in Tuskegee back before I turned 25…but my work schedule at the time didn’t allow it when all my friends went. My dream got deferred. I planned to redeem it on my birthday…which, among my group of friends, is a triple birthday weekend. So, our group of 10 —including my friend’s 60-year-old mom, made plans.
I love traveling because it opens my mind to new considerations and perspectives. I learn something on every trip because I’m challenged past my comfort zone. This experience did the same thing for me that an international trip does (at a fraction of the price). I’ll never be the same.
Here are a few perspectives I gained from my 3 mile trip back to Earth.
1. The imagination is an amazing, powerful thing. And you can do so much with it. Here I am imagining crashing into the ground when I could have been using that time to imagine myself flying faster than a speeding bullet to save someone in distress. I could have imagined I was Lois Lane and Conner was superman. I could have been imagining I was a 101st Airborne paratrooper filling the early morning sky with my comrades ready to liberate France. But I chose the less fun and exciting way to use my imagination.
2. In life, the first step or two out of a comfort zone is of course terrifying and overwhelming but pressing through that comfort zone is where you get to the good part. I’ve already learned this lesson a thousand times before, but applying it doesn’t always happen. My friend who also jumped that day had jumped before. She told me it was surreal serenity. When I got out of my fears I was able to understand what she was talking about. All the noise of the world is miles away.
3. In love, I want to metaphorically be strapped with my tandem jumper. No space between the two of us. We go Book of Ruth with it: wherever you go, I willgo. I will go through the falls and shocks with you if it means I getting to soar above the world with you later. After the three-minute training and harness fitting, I met the dude who would toss me out of a flying plane. I put all my trust & faith in another person. I trusted my life to a complete stranger. And because I did, I got to share amazing moments that I’ve never shared with anyone else. Sometimes, a bit of faith is so worth it.
4. Just Jump! The longer you sit there and look…the longer you sit there and look. That’s it. That’s all that happens. Falls don’t last forever. Don’t analyze too much. Overanalyzing to the point of paralysis doesn’t do anything. Getting active is a great way to get out of ruts. Do something different. For Forest Gump it was a cross country jog. For Elsa, It was building a winter wonderland. For me, free falling released months of built-up tension and frustration. It was an acceptance of whatever will be will be. When you say you’re going to do something, commit and just do it. Get in shape, start a business, travel…take Taylor Swift’s advice and jump, head first fearless!
5. I’m pretty sure the writer of Aladdin and Jasmine’s “A Whole New World” had skydiving experience.
I experienced a new fantastic point of view with unbelievable sights, taken wonder by wonder, indescribable feeling, soaring, tumbling, freewheeling on an endless diamond sky. As a little girl I daydreamed about the magic Disney created in that scene and it really happened in real life. I even got told, “Don’t close your eyes, you paid for this view.”
I’ve literally been somewhere over the rainbow. I’ve jumped into the wild blue yonder. I never knew the vastness of the sky to truly love it. And I hope, if you’re healthy and able you get to know it too. They say the sky is the limit and I’ve already visited. Perhaps I’ll make the sky home.