Browsing Tag:

desert places

In Arizona, Destinations, France, United States on
April 25, 2019

Travel is the Vehicle that Connects Past, Present, and Future

Black Arizona landforms against a vibrant, flaming sunset

A 5 minute read

While road tripping in 2016 to complete my “All 50 States” tour, I pulled over along a desolate highway. The sunset views against Arizona’s Painted Desert deserved so much more than a passing glance as I drove through. I got out of my car and stood amidst absolute, complete silence and watched nature take place.

I’d never seen anything like it. Iridescence cascaded into/like an overture/coloratura across the sky.  The sun painted murals on rock formations. Fallen, petrified trees from the late Triassic period, 225 million years ago interspersed throughout the barren landscapes soon gave way to majestic silhouettes accented by stars that seemed close enough to pull right out of the sky.

There I stood, somewhere between, “the bright blessed day and dark sacred night” that inspired Armstrong’s crooning and led him to rejoice, “What a wonderful world.” Wonderful world, indeed.

Engulfed in awe of the creator’s innovation, my heart overflowed with gratitude that the composer saw fit to share this masterpiece with me.
At the moment, an elucidation that captured this experience from Forest Gump, long buried in the depths of my mind, rose to the surface, “In the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn’t tell where heaven stopped, and Earth began. It was so beautiful.” At this moment, I too struggled to distinguish Heaven from Earth. For the first time, I understood.

Surrounded by both vast nothingness and the density of significance at once, all of the people I love came to mind. I wanted them to have a moment like this. I wished they could witness this. I craved for them to feel all of this.  

desert sunrise with beautiful artistic hues of pinks, purples, and blues.
                       I want you to know how these colors feel.

I view the world through a historical lens. Whereas an engineer may look at something and ask how it works, I look for clues left by previous generations to learn the story of why and document to provide clues for the next.  I travel in order to cover as much ground as possible to increase the probability that I trace the steps of my progenitors but also, lay a path for descendants.  I try to have many unique experiences so when others experience the same, it bridges a gap of understanding in a way that it couldn’t by being explained.

For example, I grew up in a military family. Saturday mornings often started with a G.I. Party (the military community knows, this is not an exciting event) and getting ready for school came with the expectation that it only takes three minutes to do the  Three S’s. After 22 years of growing up in that environment, it wasn’t until I experienced military training for myself that I learned it is indeed possible to get ready in three minutes (which is 90 seconds more than what’s actually needed).  That experience helps me relate to every American warfighter that has come before me in a way I couldn’t before.  Visiting Charleston, I was filled with an enormous sense of family connection. Although I don’t know for sure, the statistics make it highly probable that someone from my family’s past walked the same streets centuries before. Even after reading Little Women multiple times and watching both versions of the movie, it wasn’t until visiting the March family home, Orchard House, in Concord, Mass that I felt that I really got to know the family.  Tracing the steps of James Baldwin, Richard Wright, and Lois Mailou Jones in Paris’ Latin Quarter helps to understand their muses and inspires creativity of one’s own. The same goes for visiting the homes and frequented localities of all historical figures. It gives a snapshot of the surroundings of the historical figure, how they lived, and what influenced their thoughts. It helps to understand how they worked through some of their decisions and thought processes. I know, from visiting the Kennedy Library and Museum that Jacqueline took a cruise to Paris with friends while in college and it was the best year of her life. But I don’t know any such information about anyone in my family.

I’d like to able to know and connect with my family in the same way, but so much of my family’s history went undocumented. I do have some say over the documentation prepared for the future of my family to be able to know and connect in the same way that I do historical figures.

So I travel. I do things. I search out a diversity of experiences, not only so I can find some commonality with people I come in contact with today, and so I can relate to people of yesteryear, but also for those who come next will be able to identify with me in some way.

Regardless of France’s past and current transgressions as colonizers, and irrespective of the more impactful uses of contribution money, Notre Dame’s burning is a loss.  The losses of St Mary Baptist, Greater Union Baptist, and Mount Pleasant Baptist in Louisiana and the several mosques also burning at the same time does not detract from the loss of this Catholic Church in France. It is a loss of history — literary history, architectural history, religious history, cultural history, and personal history. And it is a loss of a future. Three generations of women in my family explored this site together during a wonderful summer trip, and now, our future generations will not see it as we saw it.

The backs of a small crowd watch Notre Dame durn from afar on a hill.
I can only imagine what it would be like: To be going about my day, look up, and see the smoke, then realize it’s Notre Dame burning.

In the wake of the devasting fire to Paris’ Notre Dame Cathedral, social media users flooded their timelines with the nostalgia of Paris vacations.  Criticisms grew that this act was merely bragging.  When we grieve the loss of a pet, it is common to remember by showing pictures of the memories with them. When we mourn the loss of a loved one, we do the same thing. When a home full of warm memories is lost, we often use pictures to help us remember those memories and grieve. And in the most heartbreaking occasions, when a dream is lost, one of the ways we grieve is by looking at pictures of that dream.  Have we gotten so cynical and disconnected from humanity that we confuse the human emotion of grief for bragging? And really, isn’t that the central focus on social media? A platform to draw attention to yourself?

The places we travel become the setting for the story of our lives.  Perhaps, my progeny won’t give their ancestors a second thought, but at least if they do, the more places I travel, the easier it will become for those who come after me to visit and find a connection if they so wished. When they find themselves randomly out in the middle of the desert, witnessing all its glory, and they’re longing for someone to share it with, they’ll know they had an adventurous ancestor who sent everywhere and saw everything and likely witnessed it and felt the same way too.  Perhaps, if the Earth is still around, four generations from now,  my offspring will visit France’s capital. Perhaps they’ll respond just like me and marvel at finally witnessing the architecture discussed in classes first hand. Perhaps they’ll be like some of my travel companions and be underwhelmed.  Perhaps, if it is rebuilt, they’ll climb the tower. Perhaps if restored properly, they won’t have to climb the steps and take the elevator instead. Maybe my future offspring will see the cathedral for the first time with friends. Perhaps they’ll make their mark on eternity and get engaged right next to the Charlemagne statute, under the shade of the trees.  At the very least, perhaps those scions will at least have the primary source document that shows four generations of women in their family have gone to Paris, strolled the narrow alleyways, delighted in the cuisine, and had their picture taken in front of La Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris.

In Asia, Destinations, Qatar on
June 11, 2014

Life Lessons Learned After A Year In The Desert

A year in the desert can lead to new life realizations.  Separation from all that makes you comfortable, provides the time for introspection and reflection.  Discomfort allows transformation and growth.  Jesus, Moses, Abraham, and the Israelites all spent time being transformed in the desert.  My time in Qatar was full miserably hot and full of trials and successes that allowed me to develop my own proverbs and life lessons learned on God, work, people, myself, family, and love. Here are my Proverbs. 
Lessons on God.
I can’t help but think I was sent to the desert to God to do some work in my life and draw me closer to knowing him better.  The Good Lord is constantly trying to get my attention and it’s been amazing to watch God work. Over the past year I was able to view first hand all the promises and truths Kept by my God. I know for sure God loves me like my parents love me. God wants the best for me and hates to see me hurting.  Yes, I can disappoint at times but he’s quick to get over it and keep loving me anyway. This year I learned to just chill out and let God be God.  Nothing is a surprise to him. And he has it all under control.
I got to see this first hand.  God sent so many unexpected, positive, uplifting angels from around the world into my life at the best possible time.
He’s got what seems like chaos under control. Chill.

 

If anyone is trying to make you feel guilty for anything that God has already forgiven you for, that person is not doing God’s work. There’s freedom in knowing the good Lord was crucified so you don’t have to crucify yourself daily with guilt for your sins.  It says right there in Romans 6:23 and 1 John 1:9 that God forgives.  So doubting that you are forgiven is doubting God’s word and his ability to forgive. Do yourself (and by “yourself”, I’m talking to myself) just believe what God.

No setback is a surprise to God. Just let God work!  He’s got so many things set in motion for an amazing set up in your future.  And he says so in one of my favorite, comforting verses:
 
My mistakes are plentiful but thankfully so is God’s grace. And I’m committing to expand my grace.
Now strut with that confidence.
It is arrogant and self-righteous to believe that you made it to where you are through any doing of your own. If put in the same situation as someone else, you could have made some hard or bad decisions too.
 
 
Lessons on People.
My goodness, If I haven’t spent all of my 20s trying to understand the ways of people. We are so complex. It took this pilgrimage to really understand that how people treat you is a reflection of their self and their realities and really doesn’t have anything to do with you and not to take it personality.  If someone takes offense or is rude to you, it’s usually an insecurity that you’ve struck. You’ll have tons of people trying to tell you how to be, but they should all be ignored in favor for people who celebrate you.  And lastly, I like this concept I got from watching Joel Osteen: 25% of folks are going to dislike you and there is nothing you can do about it. 25% will dislike you but could be swayed otherwise. 25% will like you but could be swayed to dislike you. and the top 25% of people will love you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Focus on the top 25%.
 
 

 

It’s just helpful for me to remember not to take it personally if someone is rude to me and to keep myself in check when I’m tempted to forget my manners.
I watched this Joel Osteen Sermon plenty of times before but it wasn’t until my trip to the desert that I actually got to see stress that comes from people pleasing. Freedom comes from God pleasing. Even if you do everything that high maintenance people ask of you, they will constantly find fault and criticize. No matter how good you are to them, they will make you feel guilty for something else. If you change with every criticism, you won’t have a chance. Be free of those who try to squeeze, pressure, and manipulate you into their mold.
I believe most folks are are who they say appear to be.  But some folks are master manipulators. They learn your interests, make you think they are just like you, gain your trust, get in your inner circle and destroy all you thought you knew about him.
Why doubt yourself? You have wonderful, valid ideas too!
Magnifying weaknesses doesn’t benefit anyone.  The people I consider the best kinds of people that I’ve ever met have all been Masters at accentuating the positives. Those are the people I want to emulate.
Lessons on Family
I love the support I get from my family — those I chose and the ones God chose for me. My family is loud, country, goofy, and fun. We make an amazing, resilient team. And when being away makes me lose perspective, they will always know how to bring me back to reality. When I make a lapse in judgement or go against their warnings, they are there to catch me when I fall just like the safety-net in acrobatics.
 Last year, cancer sent my uncle to be with the Lord.  He was buried hours before I got home from Stuttgart. I never knew that one last time I saw him before leaving for Europe for two years would be the last time we talked. I wish I would have called to see how he was doing. This year, Cancer threatened to take my mom.  But she is a pink ribbon victor. I never considered when she dropped me off at the airport for Qatar that her hug could have been the last.  I’ve really got to focus, enjoy,  and learn all I can from my family now, while I can.
Been learning this since 1988.
When I saw this I couldn’t help but see myself in the hopeless romantic of Princess Anna. Sure enough, my little sister was so much of the realist shown in Queen Elsa’s character. I lived this story this year.
 
 
She’ll stay up all night to talk you off the ledge (even if she’s the mother of an infant).
Lessons on who I am
I know who I am and what I am capable of more than anyone else.  In the words of Kanye West, “I have a dope life, and I do dope Sh!t.” Individuals who have only known me for a few months in one aspect of my life can’t possibly know the many layers of me yet so often I take others’ negative opinions of me to heart.   Critics are usually those who know me least.  But those who have known me longest and best often amaze me with all the positives that they see in me.
My BGF (Best Guy Friend) is known for his brutal honesty and crassness. Dude knows me and my eccentricity well.  But when it comes to describing me, he’s refreshingly positive about all that he noticed over the years.  Same for my best friend since 6th grade. Every time I talk to her, I think I can rule the world with my smile just because she sees so much in me.  And that just goes to show what people think about others is more a reflection of how they view themselves.  Someone who is critical of you is likely hyper critical and condemning of themselves and full of insecurities.  My  big, compassionate heart, adaptability, accepting nature, devotion, optimism, and imagination have been keystones of all that makes up the pieces of me.  I go out of my way to help a friend and even sometimes strangers.
I saw so much of me in this phenomenal little woman’s journal. And to think, her dad really got to know who she was and what she was capable of after her death.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Guys, Love, and dating.
It’s amazing how one bad apple can spoil the bunch and completely change your optimistic, wonder struck perspective.  But as my newly wedded friends have all said at one point or another, if you don’t have the terrible you don’t recognize and appreciate the wonderful.
 
I think the ultimate goal of Christian girls who date is to have a husband who strives, everyday, to love her like Christ loves the Church. But a man cannot love you like Christ loves the church if he doesn’t know Christ. If he doesn’t have a good relationship with Christ like he does his buds, he cannot know Christ’s personality or view points. He he isn’t dialing, texting, messaging Christ daily or even weekly and is only relying on what other people have told him about Christ he doesn’t know what Christ does or says. He probably won’t even realize loving you in that way should  be his ultimate goal.  Find the guy who knows Christ. Then he’ll have some idea on how to love you.
 
Above all, listen to your instincts. They tend to be on point every time and you’ll just end up upset with yourself for ignoring your instincts or standards when everything goes wrong.
 
 



 
A guy who doesn’t want his girl to talk to other guys, calls his girl names, discredits her and/or her friends, or tries to control how a girl dresses is just afraid one day, one of these outside contacts is going to speak some sense into her and remind her how amazing and deserving she is. And she will leave. Although she might not recognize at the time, guy who ridicules her is showing his insecurity because he knows he has somehow scored a girl out of his league.
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



 
Friends
When you are away from all that is normal, it may be a little more difficult to identify true friends.  You tend to gravitate to people because they’re fellow Americans or similar age just because there aren’t many other options.  This past year I have learned to celebrate the overall awesomeness of the individuals that have been placed in my life to encourage me along my way and to shrug my shoulders to the folks that add stumbling stones. Time is so limited to focus on those who detract from my life.  It’s better to have four quarters as friends than 100 pennies.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Your friends wont put you in a position where you have to stand up for yourself and won’t offended when you do.
 
 
 
Womanhood
Nothing like being in a country with rigidly defined gender roles to emphasize the rigidly defined gendered roles that I grew up with in America to the point that we don’t even recognize. It’s easy to point the finger at Islamic cultures and talk about how oppressive they are to women and put a blind eye to how oppressive America’s double standard, puritanical Christian culture is on women.  I’m still trying to figure out how to combat this.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Life.
I’ve always believed in the reverse of Murphy’s Law because it’s been true for my life. If things can go right, they will go absolutely, positively right at the bets possible time.  So even when it rains, know your rainbow is on the way.
 
 
 
 
 


That’s all for now!
In Asia, Destinations, Qatar on
January 15, 2014

Growing Faith In Desert Places

…Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the
wilderness and speak tenderly to her.”

— Hosea 2:14

 

Sometimes it takes moving into desert places and out of our routine to reach a new level of understanding and awareness. I’m not talking about going from America to the wonderland a European vacation. I mean really getting into a place that is really completely away from all you know and where you feel safe and comfortable… where all you insecurities, shortcomings, and faults are exposed. Here in Qatar, I don’t have the distractions of ordinary life in America or Europe. Here, I am an obvious outsider, limited by language and cultural understanding. Like many of the Biblical heroes, moving to the desert can test your faith and bring you revelations you couldn’t otherwise receive.
Consider Moses, who grew up in the palace of the pharaoh, then spent 40 years wandering around in the desert where he learned the ways of the true King.  After being baptized, Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights in the desert.  Moses, Elijah, John the Baptist, David, Joseph all spent time in the desert. Granted most of the Bible took place in the desert, being alone in the wilderness is when they heard and saw God’s work.
My 2014 started off rocky to say the least.  I learned I was the daughter of a breast cancer warrior the day after the guy who said he wanted to give me his last name changed his mind. I’ve gone through what I consider major tests only to be surrounded and comforted by God. Clearly, the good Lord wants my attention.  I got the epiphany that I seem to I write about everything else but my testimony. I mean, looking through my blog, you wouldn’t be able to tell I try to follow God’s guidance for my life with varying success because I don’t speak about his goodness. Well, here I am changing that with the messages of encouragement I’ve received during the first 15 days of 2014.
Have faith in God’s Timing
I lead Zumba on Wednesday nights. Last Wednesday as I was cleaning up after class a participant lingered after class and said, “I’d like to give you this.” In her hand was a pewter necklace with a cross on one side and the words, Be still and know that I am God.”  Wow! What a message. Basically, God sent a new friend…we’ll call her and angel… to let me know, “Chill the frick out, I got this!”

 

It’s so easy have faith in God’s plans when they are right in line with my own. Each night I pray, “Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven…” then get so upset when God’s will isn’t in synch with my own.  He has a reputation for doing amazing things and giving me more than I could ever ask for. Why would he stop now? My dreams are coming true. I need to start thanking him for the works he’s already promised me rather than keep asking him to meet my deadline.
I get so annoyed when people question me. When others want to know what I’m doing or why I made the decisions I made, it makes me so uneasy.  So why on Earth do I do the same to God? I have to learn just to accept God’s answer. I need to let God be God. He’s got this.  Now, more than ever I understand Hannah and Sarah wanting what they want right then and there. But I’m learning God uses delays in fulfilling our heart’s desires to strengthen us, train us, and test our obedience. Take the Israelites wandering around the desert for 40 years…you can take the Israelites out of Egypt but you can’t take the Egypt out of the Israelites. The Israelites probably had a lot of Egyptian habits like making idols that God just wouldn’t let them take into the promised land. I’m satisfied to wait for the Isaacs in life, do not rush and end up with an Ishmael. I’m usually pretty spontaneous and take comfort in the “whatever will be will be.”  But when it comes to what really matters to me, I am a meticulous planner. I’ve got to let go.
Maintain a Positive attitude
Disappointments happen with unmet expectations. Instead of dwelling on past disappointments, be excited and optimistic about God’s plan for your future. Look for the silver lining in all misfortunes. Disappointments are opportunities to prove to god you are growing. Maintain a positive attitude regardless of the situation around you. Don’t absorb all the criticisms and negativity around you, make positivity a habit like Polly Anna. Be anxious for nothing but give all your worries to God. Joseph had betrayals, setbacks, and disappointed in his life. But we don’t know of his grumbling. We just know of his patience and his grace with those who hurt him.
Be around people that celebrate you
Not everyone deserves to have a piece of your time.  Some people are just going to be critical of you, no matter what you do or how hard you try to please.  If someone can spend six months or so with you and still fail to realize how fabulous you are, well, that says more about that individual than it does you.  Give up the goal of winning approval of others. Doing so only sets you up to be controlled and manipulated by that individual. Instead, be controlled by God and strive to please him. Know that when you are forgiven by God and living a new life that is pleasing to God, how other’s judge you doesn’t matter.
Proverbs 25:17 says “Iron sharpens Iron; So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” Amazingly, I have been bum-rushed with tons of encouraging girl friends who just popped up out of nowhere who encourage and celebrate me. They sharpen me rather than make me dull and unsure of myself.  The good Lord has brought me amazing people who lift me up; people who encourage me to dream and believe in me. In 2014 I will be disciplined to spend my time with people who appreciate my talents, personality and celebrate my accomplishments rather than emphasizing my weaknesses and tell me what I cannot do. There’s power in God’s words. I mean, He did use them to speak the universe into orbit. So surely his words can handle the little things in life.  A co-worker randomly provided me a list of affirmations of who the Bible says I am and capable of. When surrounded by people that say hurtful things, it may take morning affirmations to remember what God thinks about you and how wonderful you are.
 “I am a virtuous woman.” Proverbs 31
“God wants to give me hope and a future” – Jeremiah 29:11
“He who finds me, will find a good thing” – Proverbs 18:22
“I am a Child of the Most High God, fully accepted by the Father.” – John 1:12
“I am more than a conqueror.” – Romans 8:37
“I am forgiven.” 1 John 1:19
“God loves me enough to sacrifice his only son for me.” John 3:16
The Pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.
Don’t act on emotional impulses. Be disciplined while emotional so you don’t make choices you regret. Be concerned about later on, not how you feel today. You can be right or be kind. God brings peace on earth if you chose to accept it. He causes a cessation of hostility and anxiety. Always maintain your Belle poise and demeanor. You don’t ever want to come off as graceless.
Since the New Year I have received an outpouring of love, acceptance, and encouragement from friends. co-workers, and random strangers. I have developed new networks of people who celebrate me.  I’m not alone in this world. God sent his angels to let me know he is looking out for me.  It takes getting out of my comfort zone and places of distraction to find out who I really am and what I’m made of.  We all go through metaphorical deserts where the days are oppressively hot, dusty, grimy and all around uncomfortable and hope to cross metaphorical River Jordans into the promise land.

Inspiring verses:

Be still, and know that I am God – Psalm 46:10

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths -Proverbs 3:5-6
A person’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way? – Proverbs 20:24
Many plans occupy the mind of a man, but the LORD’s purposes will prevail. – Proverbs 19:21
We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. – Proverbs 16:9
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11