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Qatar

In Kuwait, Qatar, United Arab Emirates on
December 5, 2018

Bougie Girl’s Guide to Packing for the Middle East

A belle will always get asked to dinner. It doesn’t matter if she’s visiting a new place for a weekend or in an austere location, she should still expect a dinner invitation.  Knowing this, a belle always needs to be prepared.

My bestie Kristen agrees. Kris and I met while studying abroad in China during college. Since then, we’ve both chosen careers that allow us to globe-trot and develop our individual travel philosophies. One of hers is always to pack lip gloss, perfume, and something to wear to dinner. I’ve since adopted that practice, and it hasn’t let me down.  Even when I got deployment orders to Southwest Asia, heels and dresses went into the duffle. Yes, I brought a cute dress to a deployment. Then I bought some more online. Then I bought one when I went out on the town. And you know what? The invites came, and I never felt out of place due to being overly casual at dinner at any restaurant.

While it’s perfectly standard for Westerners to walk around the Middle East in sneakers, jeans, and tee-shirts, the belle in me required a more feminine approach.  Plus, not to be outdone by the local women who dress to the nines all the time, walking around the Arabian Peninsula in cute dresses is kinda my thing. The regional requirement of modesty made the challenge more creative.  Not that finding modest fashion was a challenge –it wasn’t at all– it was just a different consideration from my usual.

If you’re not a girlie-girl like me, you can ignore this entire post. If you are a girlie girl and disagree with everything I’ve recommended, let me know. Either way, you’ve got to travel to South West Asia and see for yourself. This is my list of things you’ll have to remember to pack when deploying or traveling to the Arabian Peninsula.

  1. A few swimsuits and while you’re at it, a beach towel, and your beach tote

“You know, when some people deploy, we actually go to war,” my fighter pilot friend teased. I was lamenting that it escaped my mind to bring a beach towel.  Now I’d have to buy one on amazon. He pretended to be disgusted that I dipped in a pool while deployed. But believe it or not, impromptu pool parties were part of life in Kuwait, as are beach days and jet ski outings. Swimsuits are a must.

  1. Day Tote.

You’ll need something that looks chic to stash liters of water, sunblock, hand sanitizer, and whatever else you’ll need for a day out on the town.

While themuslimgirl.com caters to women of the Islamic faith, some things like friendships, family, love, and fashion are universal. The blog is informational for all modern women.

  1. Maxi Dresses & Maxi Skirts

These dresses have been summer staples in the West for several years, especially jersey knit. These pieces can be dressed up or dressed down depending on the accessories. I referenced a great blog called themuslimgirl.com for more styling tips.

  1. Scarves & Hats

Now, it’s probably not the most culturally correct fashion to wear a hijab if you’re not a Muslim woman. You will be thought to be a Muslim woman, and that comes with the expectation to observe the culture.  However, headwraps are a different story. Kuwait, Qatar, and the like are great places to wear your own cultural head coverings without attracting unwanted attention like it would in many places in The States.  Again, headwraps are also culturally specific although many cultures have some sort of hair covering so do take care to select the hair covering that is appropriate for you.

Fashion by the wraplife, modanisa, and EmpressaK. You can also follow EmpressaK on IG @empressAK and her head fashion accessories at @empressivefinds

  1. Diva Shades

I always thought the Southwest Asian women were just being posh with their diva shades but really, with the lack of cloud cover and the oppressive wind storms, they are most assuredly a functional necessity.

@Modanisa_en is one of my favorite modest fashion shops.

  1. Nice shoes

One sure way to identify Americans abroad is their incessant need to be casual and their preference for flip flops and sneakers over any other sensible shoe. Casual wear has its place,  but when you’re having a night on the town or going to a restaurant in the evening, it’s nice to ditch the leisure attire.

  1. Blazers, Cardigans, and Denim Jackets

These are all versatile wardrobe staples that can alter the look of the exact same outfit.

http://themuslimgirl.com/

Photos from The Muslim Girl

  1. Facial moisturizer

Whatever your skincare regimen is at home, it’s not going to work in the harsh desert environment.  You’re going to need a night moisturizer, moisturizing cleanser, and a day moisturizer + SPF. You’ll probably even need a mid-day face wash to get the desert dirt off your face.

Fresh-faced Modanisa Model

  1. Riding pants and boots

If you’re a rider and you’re on the Arabian Peninsula, do not overlook the opportunity to ride gorgeous Arabian horses and take lessons from world renown trainers and coaches. Of course, you can always buy equestrian gear in-country if you don’t bring your own.

  1. Your own Abaya

You’ll need one to visit the Grand Mosque. The mosque provides abayas but if you can slay in your own, why use a loner?

  1. Fabric, Pattern, and picture of your favorite fashions.

It seems like every seamstress outside the Western World can design the outfits of your dreams just by seeing it. West Africa, Korea, and the Middle East are known for their custom reactions. You can always find your own fabric in fashion districts in the country.

  1. Favorite Jewelry & accessories

Speaks for themselves.

My friend, who executes people from the sky for a living, mocks the concept of leisure time while deployed and overpacking. He laughs that I’d even have time to go swimming while deployed, let alone go to a pool party.  We live different lifestyles for sure, and I recognize that.  But every time I think of a location as an excuse to dress frumpy, I think of my très fashionable friend Kari, who supports looking cute regardless of where you are. “Just because we’re in (city x) doesn’t mean we have to dress like it, “she often reminds me.

In Asia, Destinations, Qatar on
June 11, 2014

Life Lessons Learned After A Year In The Desert

A year in the desert can lead to new life realizations.  Separation from all that makes you comfortable, provides the time for introspection and reflection.  Discomfort allows transformation and growth.  Jesus, Moses, Abraham, and the Israelites all spent time being transformed in the desert.  My time in Qatar was full miserably hot and full of trials and successes that allowed me to develop my own proverbs and life lessons learned on God, work, people, myself, family, and love. Here are my Proverbs. 
Lessons on God.
I can’t help but think I was sent to the desert to God to do some work in my life and draw me closer to knowing him better.  The Good Lord is constantly trying to get my attention and it’s been amazing to watch God work. Over the past year I was able to view first hand all the promises and truths Kept by my God. I know for sure God loves me like my parents love me. God wants the best for me and hates to see me hurting.  Yes, I can disappoint at times but he’s quick to get over it and keep loving me anyway. This year I learned to just chill out and let God be God.  Nothing is a surprise to him. And he has it all under control.
I got to see this first hand.  God sent so many unexpected, positive, uplifting angels from around the world into my life at the best possible time.
He’s got what seems like chaos under control. Chill.

 

If anyone is trying to make you feel guilty for anything that God has already forgiven you for, that person is not doing God’s work. There’s freedom in knowing the good Lord was crucified so you don’t have to crucify yourself daily with guilt for your sins.  It says right there in Romans 6:23 and 1 John 1:9 that God forgives.  So doubting that you are forgiven is doubting God’s word and his ability to forgive. Do yourself (and by “yourself”, I’m talking to myself) just believe what God.

No setback is a surprise to God. Just let God work!  He’s got so many things set in motion for an amazing set up in your future.  And he says so in one of my favorite, comforting verses:
 
My mistakes are plentiful but thankfully so is God’s grace. And I’m committing to expand my grace.
Now strut with that confidence.
It is arrogant and self-righteous to believe that you made it to where you are through any doing of your own. If put in the same situation as someone else, you could have made some hard or bad decisions too.
 
 
Lessons on People.
My goodness, If I haven’t spent all of my 20s trying to understand the ways of people. We are so complex. It took this pilgrimage to really understand that how people treat you is a reflection of their self and their realities and really doesn’t have anything to do with you and not to take it personality.  If someone takes offense or is rude to you, it’s usually an insecurity that you’ve struck. You’ll have tons of people trying to tell you how to be, but they should all be ignored in favor for people who celebrate you.  And lastly, I like this concept I got from watching Joel Osteen: 25% of folks are going to dislike you and there is nothing you can do about it. 25% will dislike you but could be swayed otherwise. 25% will like you but could be swayed to dislike you. and the top 25% of people will love you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.  Focus on the top 25%.
 
 

 

It’s just helpful for me to remember not to take it personally if someone is rude to me and to keep myself in check when I’m tempted to forget my manners.
I watched this Joel Osteen Sermon plenty of times before but it wasn’t until my trip to the desert that I actually got to see stress that comes from people pleasing. Freedom comes from God pleasing. Even if you do everything that high maintenance people ask of you, they will constantly find fault and criticize. No matter how good you are to them, they will make you feel guilty for something else. If you change with every criticism, you won’t have a chance. Be free of those who try to squeeze, pressure, and manipulate you into their mold.
I believe most folks are are who they say appear to be.  But some folks are master manipulators. They learn your interests, make you think they are just like you, gain your trust, get in your inner circle and destroy all you thought you knew about him.
Why doubt yourself? You have wonderful, valid ideas too!
Magnifying weaknesses doesn’t benefit anyone.  The people I consider the best kinds of people that I’ve ever met have all been Masters at accentuating the positives. Those are the people I want to emulate.
Lessons on Family
I love the support I get from my family — those I chose and the ones God chose for me. My family is loud, country, goofy, and fun. We make an amazing, resilient team. And when being away makes me lose perspective, they will always know how to bring me back to reality. When I make a lapse in judgement or go against their warnings, they are there to catch me when I fall just like the safety-net in acrobatics.
 Last year, cancer sent my uncle to be with the Lord.  He was buried hours before I got home from Stuttgart. I never knew that one last time I saw him before leaving for Europe for two years would be the last time we talked. I wish I would have called to see how he was doing. This year, Cancer threatened to take my mom.  But she is a pink ribbon victor. I never considered when she dropped me off at the airport for Qatar that her hug could have been the last.  I’ve really got to focus, enjoy,  and learn all I can from my family now, while I can.
Been learning this since 1988.
When I saw this I couldn’t help but see myself in the hopeless romantic of Princess Anna. Sure enough, my little sister was so much of the realist shown in Queen Elsa’s character. I lived this story this year.
 
 
She’ll stay up all night to talk you off the ledge (even if she’s the mother of an infant).
Lessons on who I am
I know who I am and what I am capable of more than anyone else.  In the words of Kanye West, “I have a dope life, and I do dope Sh!t.” Individuals who have only known me for a few months in one aspect of my life can’t possibly know the many layers of me yet so often I take others’ negative opinions of me to heart.   Critics are usually those who know me least.  But those who have known me longest and best often amaze me with all the positives that they see in me.
My BGF (Best Guy Friend) is known for his brutal honesty and crassness. Dude knows me and my eccentricity well.  But when it comes to describing me, he’s refreshingly positive about all that he noticed over the years.  Same for my best friend since 6th grade. Every time I talk to her, I think I can rule the world with my smile just because she sees so much in me.  And that just goes to show what people think about others is more a reflection of how they view themselves.  Someone who is critical of you is likely hyper critical and condemning of themselves and full of insecurities.  My  big, compassionate heart, adaptability, accepting nature, devotion, optimism, and imagination have been keystones of all that makes up the pieces of me.  I go out of my way to help a friend and even sometimes strangers.
I saw so much of me in this phenomenal little woman’s journal. And to think, her dad really got to know who she was and what she was capable of after her death.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Guys, Love, and dating.
It’s amazing how one bad apple can spoil the bunch and completely change your optimistic, wonder struck perspective.  But as my newly wedded friends have all said at one point or another, if you don’t have the terrible you don’t recognize and appreciate the wonderful.
 
I think the ultimate goal of Christian girls who date is to have a husband who strives, everyday, to love her like Christ loves the Church. But a man cannot love you like Christ loves the church if he doesn’t know Christ. If he doesn’t have a good relationship with Christ like he does his buds, he cannot know Christ’s personality or view points. He he isn’t dialing, texting, messaging Christ daily or even weekly and is only relying on what other people have told him about Christ he doesn’t know what Christ does or says. He probably won’t even realize loving you in that way should  be his ultimate goal.  Find the guy who knows Christ. Then he’ll have some idea on how to love you.
 
Above all, listen to your instincts. They tend to be on point every time and you’ll just end up upset with yourself for ignoring your instincts or standards when everything goes wrong.
 
 



 
A guy who doesn’t want his girl to talk to other guys, calls his girl names, discredits her and/or her friends, or tries to control how a girl dresses is just afraid one day, one of these outside contacts is going to speak some sense into her and remind her how amazing and deserving she is. And she will leave. Although she might not recognize at the time, guy who ridicules her is showing his insecurity because he knows he has somehow scored a girl out of his league.
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



 
Friends
When you are away from all that is normal, it may be a little more difficult to identify true friends.  You tend to gravitate to people because they’re fellow Americans or similar age just because there aren’t many other options.  This past year I have learned to celebrate the overall awesomeness of the individuals that have been placed in my life to encourage me along my way and to shrug my shoulders to the folks that add stumbling stones. Time is so limited to focus on those who detract from my life.  It’s better to have four quarters as friends than 100 pennies.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Your friends wont put you in a position where you have to stand up for yourself and won’t offended when you do.
 
 
 
Womanhood
Nothing like being in a country with rigidly defined gender roles to emphasize the rigidly defined gendered roles that I grew up with in America to the point that we don’t even recognize. It’s easy to point the finger at Islamic cultures and talk about how oppressive they are to women and put a blind eye to how oppressive America’s double standard, puritanical Christian culture is on women.  I’m still trying to figure out how to combat this.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Life.
I’ve always believed in the reverse of Murphy’s Law because it’s been true for my life. If things can go right, they will go absolutely, positively right at the bets possible time.  So even when it rains, know your rainbow is on the way.
 
 
 
 
 


That’s all for now!
In Asia, Destinations, Qatar on
July 5, 2013

A Whole New World

 

It’s been one week since my plane touched down in the Southwest Asia and since then I have gained enough cultural insight to rattle off a 20-page Middle Eastern exposé. This place is amazing and I’ve barely scratched the surface. I’m so far removed from all I know and recognize. The Middle East is in fact, a whole new world for me to explore.  So far, four cultural differences stand out to me most so far here:

1. Royalty
First, I’ve become fascinated with the Qatari Royal Family. The Emir just handed down power to his son. The princess, Sheikha Moza Bint Nasser al-Missned, is on Marie Claire’s most fashionable women list. She studied sociology at the University of Qatar and caught the Emir’s eye with her charm and intellect. Of course he would say that right? He can’t publicly say her hourglass figure was spell bounding or whatever else hip hop stars say about curves.  As princess, she founded Education City, a neighborhood that houses five top ranking U.S. Universities including Texas A&M. I just think she’s all around fabulous.

 

Princess Ameerah @ Kate’s Wedding

The Western World finds interest in Kate, Michelle, and Carla’s fashion but Saudi Princess Ameerah is simply gorgeous in anything that she wears. She was actually at Kate’s wedding. I’d like to think they’d make great BFFs.

Additionally, Qatar oozes of luxury. I went from living in Europe’s richest country to the world’s richest country by GDP per capita.  Now I don’t know for sure, but I’ve been told, all Qataris are some degree removed from the Royal family and the most distant get paid a minimum of $80K per year just for having Qatari citizenship. So, technically, every Qatari is royalty in some way and Western visitors can experience a taste of royal treatment. Native Qataris do not work, at least not physical labor. They don’t pump their own gas. They don’t carry their own food out the car. They don’t carry their own shopping bags. They have third country nationals come in to do the less desirable work. Everyday 500 new expats migrate to this country is search of opportunity.

 2. Islamic Fashion
No I don’t have to wear a head covering, but I want to. It’s part of the blending in. You don’t have to were lederhosen and a dirndle around Bavaria but it’s nice to blend in a little. People don’t readily know I’m American by looking. But with the way I dress, even though its conservative on American standards, I’m still easily identifiable as a foreigner. I never knew how diverse Islamic fashion was until I went Abya shopping. My goodness, who would ever think there could be so much variety in a simple black garmet. There’s lase, bling, embroidery…they range for pocket change to hundreds of dollars.

 

 

Syria has more colorful women’s fashion

 

The ever chic Qatari Queen

I find the white thobes worn by Muslim men charming. It can make any man look like prince. When I got to Dubai it was like Arabian prince heaven. Seriously.

UAE Hottie, Omar Borkan got deported from Saudi Arabia for being too sexy & making women lust.

I never knew all the fashion available in Abayas, or the long black robes the women wear here. Then there’s the introduction of colors in Islamic women’s fashion. There’s even a fashion week in Dubai!  Dubai is the Paris/New York of the Middle East. Everyone talks about its glory. The Americans I’ve met say they could see themselves living there.  Fashion is advertised as “From Dubai” as if it gives it more value like the fashions that are advertised as Milano or Parisian fashion. Nevertheless, I’m pretty sure I will end up in a conservative Abaya and hijab while I’m here.

Modesty is such a paradox between The States, Germany, and Qatar. In most places in The States cleavage, shoulders, bellies, butt cheeks, even but cracks are all fair game to be seen in public. But heaven forbid a woman nurse her infant in public or someone sit in a suana naked or want to swim naked. Our prime time television keeps body parts covered. In Germany girls for the most part keep their private parts hidden in public. But on TV, you can see bare nipples like its no big deal. You go to spas and beaches nude. No big deal. In Qatar locals stay covered from head to toe due to modesty aspirations yet the locals can just look over to immodest tourists and expats and western TV and still be tempted into lust.  There are still beaches where bikini clad tourist mingle with abaya covered citizens.

In addition to the modesty provided by abayas, this clothing also provides protection from the elements. It’s so freakishly hot and humid here. Abayas provide protection from the sun the sunblock just can’t do because it will get sweated off instantly. Also, just standing outside will drench your clothing in sweat which is just disgusting. The abayas spare us all from having to see sweat splotches all over. Then there are dust storms. Imagine being back on the playground and having 10 kindergarteners hurl sand at you for 15 minutes. Bet you’d rather be in an abaya & hijab than shorts and a tank top.

3. Gas Prices
I can fill up a 16 gallon fuel tank for $15 USD or less. It’s crazy how I went from spending 91 euro on a tank in Germany then down to $50 USD in America then down to $10 in Qatar. I laugh when I hear Americans complain about gas prices. Although we don’t have it Qatari good, we still have it good.

4. Green Living
Qatar and Stuttgart are polar opposites when it comes to ecological living. I’d venture to say Qatar has a more wasteful culture than the U.S. Due to the scorching heat, people guzzle bottles of water per day and not a bit of it gets recycled. In Stuttgart, recycling is obligatory.

In Stuttgart, of course, there are the sassy European sports cars but most people cruise around in fuel efficient small cars. Here in Qatar, everyone cruises in huge SUVs, pickup trucks, and vans. Because of the terrain, it’s almost a necessity to have a vehicle with off-road capabilities. People here leave their cars running…granted oil is more plentiful than water and the heat forces the air conditioning to remain on.

This is just my initial impressions of this new fabulous country I’ve just inhabited. Can I make it home? Guess we’ll have to wait and see.