Local Guides

In Assignments, Local Guides, Take Notes, Tips on

September 2, 2022

How I Budget for A Travel Lifestyle

Money, glasses, and a caculator sitting on a desk

I am not the one to come to for budgeting advice. Fortunately, I have people in my life who are money gurus. My mom is the family finance babe and is forever updating budgets for me and my sister to follow (with various levels of success).

Fortunately, I’m a little more motivated to budget for travel than I am for everyday life. Travel is one of my main priorities. And since I travel so frequently, I have to be wise about my spending. This plan is intended for those who travel frequently but of course, works for the occasional traveler. This is what works for me and how I budget for a travel lifestyle

1. Set A Goal.

As with any goal, you got to start with the End in Mind or Begin with your WHY. Budgeting for a travel lifestyle is no different. Start by thinking about what you’re saving for. I have two goal-setting methods.

Method 1 Travel Budget Based On Location

Decide on a vacation. Price out all the expenses for that destination. Then save toward that trip. For example. Perhaps you want to go on a Mediterranean cruise. The cruise itself is all-inclusive and costs $2000. The Flight to the port will cost you $400. Airport parking or transportation to the airport will cost about $150. Then you want to save $1,000 for excursions, additional meals on shore, massages & facials, gifts, and other extraneous purchases. Pet sitting or house sitting during the trip may cost $1,000.

This trip will cost you $4,550

Take your time and start saving. Give yourself as long as it takes to reach your goal. The world isn’t going anywhere (for the most part…I mean climate change and political upheaval can certainly put a wrench in travel plans). There’s no need to rush or put yourself in a financial fix or mental health predicament by overextending yourself over a travel budget.

I like this trip savings calculator by mint. Travel Budget Calculator – MintLife Blog (intuit.com)

Method 2 Travel Budget Based On Time

Save your money for an allotted time, then determine where you will go based on how much you have. The key here is to find the best deal based on the money you have. Perhaps you know you want a birthday trip but not sure where you want to go just yet. Or maybe you want to go somewhere for summer vacation or to ring in the New Year. So your travel dates are 4 months out. Start Saving putting away money and as time grows closer (say, six weeks out), decide where you’ll go based on what you can afford.

With $1K USD, you might travel somewhere in the off-season but that’s enough for a solo belle (or beau) to take a nice trip. You might be limited on how far you can go and how long you can stay but, you can go somewhere. With tour agencies, like G adventures, you can take an 8-day trip around Morocco for as little as $800. With a budget of $2,000 so much of the world opens up to you.

Since I travel internationally multiple times per year, I do both Travel Budget Goal-setting methods.

So now that we have two goal-setting methods to budget for travel let’s figure out how to budget for those methods.

2. Assess How Much Money You Have and Where you Are Spending Your Dollars. Pull out all your bills, bank statements, and receipts (even those sent to your email) to track and account for every penny of your past three months. You’re likely to be surprised when you’re not guessing where you spend the most money. See how much money you have to work with after the bills (including your savings) are paid. See where your frivolous spending adds up ($20 shopping sprees at the Dollar Tree buying…random knickknack anyone? No? Only me? Ok.)

3. Reduce Spending. Figure out where you can cut your expenses. Start with subscriptions. Do you really need both an Audible, Book of the Month, and Scribd subscription? Can you cut one of your movie subscriptions?

If you cut a $15 Audible subscription, $12 Prime subscription, $10 Netflix subscription and put that $37 a month directly into a travel sinking fund — You’ll have $444 in a year. That is a plane ticket for most places within your own hemisphere. Or a month’s stay in a hostel.

Search for free entertainment activities. Don’t center your social events around restaurants. Wait a day or two before you impulse buy nonessential items. Cook what you already have in your pantry.

4. Make More money! Side hustles, second job, make it happen. My best job was working after school program for the YMCA. I had so much fun spending my afternoon with little kids. IT didn’t pay much. But those little $200 checks here and there, that I wouldn’t have been getting otherwise, really added up when applied to a travel saving. There are tons of ways to pinch pennies here and there when you’re focused on a goal.

5. Set up a separate fund dedicated specifically for your travels. Shop around for banks with high-yielding accounts and savings programs. Then automatically deposit a recurring set amount each month or with each paycheck. Of course, you’ll want to travel credit card (compare Chase and AmEx) that works for you.

6. Claim Your Travel Lifestyle. Some people have a sports lifestyle. They buy season tickets; they go to away games. They invest in the big screen, surround sound, host game parties, rent the camper for tailgates, have the outfits…the whole 9 yards (10 yards? 50 yards? Idk, I’m not a sports person). And they don’t get married during football season. And maybe spending a lot of time and money going to art galleries and buying sculptures is not their thing.

If travel is your lifestyle, maybe you’ll do less of everything else so you can travel more. Perhaps you’ll have a smaller home (since you’re hardly there anyway). Perhaps you miss exquisite parties that require a new outfit and hair in favor of an extravagant hotel on the cliff. Maybe, instead of spending money on luxuries at home, you hold off until you can do them abroad (nails, hair, and massages are often cheaper in other countries).

7. Do not neglect your long-term savings & rainy day fund. Travel is not an excuse to dip into your future. Your sinking account for travel is not the same account for long-term savings. You never know when a global pandemic (or other semi-natural disasters) might come along and you’ll need your savings to live.

It might not be fast turnaround but little by little you’ll watch your travel budget grow and have a decent-sized travel fund before you know it.

Charneice McKenzie

In Destinations, Florida, Local Guides, North America on

May 1, 2019

Weekend Getaway in Miami Budget Breakdown

Charneice McKenzie relaxes on the beac in a Miami beach chair

Like many Bostonians, I took advantage of the February break to defrost in warm, sunny Miami, Florida. I decided to go last minute and booked my first time in Miami a week in advance. When last-minute trips happen, I’m so grateful for the city guides of other travelers. It saves so much time. I started planning using Lee Tumbe’s 24 Hours in Miami as a guide, then tweaked to personalize. This extended weekend getaway in Miami on a budget guide accompanies Lee’s. I usually budget about $1K for a trip. I went a bit over due to last-minute planning this time. You can take my plans and tweak to your liking. Here’s my Miami weekend getaway budget breakdown.

Transportation (Flight + On-ground) = $673.91

Flight booked 5 days in advance $388.60 + optional Mileage booster ($40.31) + In-flight Wi-fi both ways ($20) + In-flight Dinner + Starbucks ($16) = $ 464.91.

I could have saved almost $80 by skipping the extras and packing my own meal to eat on the flight. I probably could have saved on the flight by booking well in advance. Roundtrips to Miami from Boston are often for under $200. Of course, these tickets are usually in the summer and summer isn’t exactly a preferred time to travel to Miami. I used Lyft from home pick up to airport, around Miami, and back home $212 (with change rounded up as a charity donation to the USO). It could have been made cheaper by not traveling back and forth from Miami Beach to Miami on several occasions (would have kept $45). If I had a friend to drop off and pick up at the airport, I could have reallocated $72. Or if I had traveled with a friend to split the costs. Oh well, so much for social currency. However, using Lyft as opposed to driving and parking at Logan International Airport ($95), renting a vehicle from Enterprise Rent-a-Car ($123 + fuel) and paying for hotel parking ($45 a night x 3 nights +tip & tax = $140) saved at least $146. I did, however, end up getting chauffeured around for free (my social currency has a better exchange rate in Miami than it does in Boston).

*Check out fellow Kentucky native, Laura Coppelman’s creative work*.

Hotels $638.66

For the purpose of travel blogging, I stayed at three different types of hotels at various price points. I also booked my hotels 17 hours before I got on the plane, on a major event (PRIDE) weekend, so I limited my options. None of the locations I chose had availability for the whole weekend, so la carte lodging was required. Had I stayed at the Generator Hostel the entire weekend I would have only spent $207. If I stayed at the Trade Winds Apartments the whole time, I could have tucked away $132.20. Had I booked The Confidante in advance, I could have stayed all weekend for the price that I paid moving from hotel to hotel. I also reserved my room through booking.com because the third-party site offered better rates than the hotel site. However, in hindsight, I might have been able to snag a better deal using my Hyatt membership, military discount, and collected the points I forfeited by using the third-party booking site. It’s also important to note, that all hotels and hostels have a resort tax that isn’t included in the advertised online price.

Generator $69 (includes $10 resort fee) trendy place for solo travelers to mix and mingle. My number one pick for a weekend getaway in Miami on a budget
Trade Winds Apartment Hotel $172 (includes $22.80 resort fee) Great for families who’d rather cook than eat out or people who want more space to feel more at home.
The Confidante $397.66 (includes $34 resort fee) Perfect for a beacation, group trip, or party weekend location. It’s a splurge if you’re staying alone but worth it if you’re splitting the cost.

Arial view of the bean-shaped pool at the Generator Miami, a budget-friendly Luxury hostel in Miami Beach — A Luxury Hostel seems like an oxymoron, but at the Generator Miami, they make it work.

Food $219.37

Friday
Arrived in time for a late dinner. Dinner was at no cost to me (using the social currency here).

Saturday
Generator breakfast $23.05
I Could have gotten a 20% discount using a special offer code from the Generator Ap but I got distracted by tattooed biceps and a sweet smile.

Voodoo Lounge Lunch (ceviche & margarita) $37.41
Sangria at Cubacho Art and Performing Arts Center $13
Paul Bakery Miami (two bottles of water) $6.50
Dinner at Giordano in South Beach Strip $50.19
Azucar Icecream $4.82

Sunday
Confidante Brunch $50 I was so tired I fell asleep through dinner and ate snacks when I woke up middle of the night.

Monday
Brunch at Dreamer Matcha Café $34.40 before catching a flight back home.
*In-flight dinner included in flight transportation expenses. **

I could have skipped Dreamer Café. Not only was it out of the way, costing me a lyft fee just to travel to it, but the food was also overpriced café food. And I knew it was going to be expensive before I went and I did it anyway for the Instagramable flamingo picture. Was $34.40 plus my lyft ride worth it? Nah.

I also didn’t take advantage of my hotel’s happy hour with free drinks when I stayed at Trade Winds. I did have meals, snacks, shots, and drinks paid for by gracious vacationers (male & female) that I met on the way. Restaurants in Miami Beach automatically collect a built-in gratuity. Of course, eating on the main strip of SoBe (South Beach as the locals call it) is going to have jacked-up prices, and that’s where I consumed three meals. There’s a couple of approaches that I think I could have cut this price down by 25%. Utilizing Restaurant.com, miamionthecheap.com, travelzoo.com, groupon.com, livingsocial.com and researching Miami’s best happy hours, food trucks, grocery stores, farmer’s markets, and cheapest restaurants, I think I could have eaten on $40 a day instead of $40 a meal.

Entertainment $10

Pictures with parrots in Little Havana $10
Vizcaya Museum and Gardens (Free for military members)*
Frost Science Museum (Free for military members)*
Pérez Art Museum Miami (Free for military members)*
Domino Park (Free for all)
Clubbing at Voodoo Lounge (Free for all, free drinks for me)**
Wynwood Walls (Free for all)
Miami Botanical Garden (Free for all)
The Beach (Free for all)
Hookah (Free for me)**
*Military ID cards come in handy
**Military camaraderie even when you don’t know each other comes in handy

The entertainment for a weekend getaway in Miami on a budget could be as simple as beach lounging and people-watching. Pride weekend also brought tons of entertainment to the beach. I just opted to go to museums and explore. And frankly, I probably would have been disappointed had I paid normal price for some of these locations.

Black girl with long ombre hair in a low pony tail takes a picture using a white, Pentax DSLR camera. She stands with her legs are crossed in short shorts and a summer, translucent top revealing a black and white striped bandeau. She's photographing Miami's famous Vixcaya Gardens. — You definitely want to visit Vizcaya Museum and Gardens early for the best light for photographs and before too many visitors photo bomb your shots. Plus, it’s super hot mid-day and the outdoor gardens are the main event.

Extraneous travel-related Expenses $240.39

These expenses included: Dog Lodging for my pup back at home $189, Mani/Pedi in little Havana $30, I lost my beach hat, got a new one $21.39, Snacks & water from Walgreen’s $20

So, in total, a 4-day weekend to Miami ended up costing me $1,781.94 which could be a little steep for a long weekend. However, with more advanced planning, I could have reduced at least $100 in flight costs. Staying at The Generator all three nights would have saved me $451.66. Plotting a more efficient ground transportation root (including avoiding inadvertently going to a museum after it closed) would have reduced my transportation expenses $25 bringing that total down to $1082.56 which is more manageable. I’m sure I could have found other ways to shave even more dollars off. Finding cheaper restaurants off the tourist path and using the kindness of friends could have reduced costs. In all, for me, a grand for a weekend in Miami was well worth the change of scenery.

Be sure to check back for the next post that tells the stories of my adventures of culture, history, friends, and flirting in Miami Beach.

Let me know if you’ve found other ways to save on trips to Miami!

Charneice McKenzie

In Destinations, Local Guides, New York on

December 5, 2018

How to Plan the Perfect NYC Photoshoot

So, you want a New York City Photoshoot?

New York City has no shortage of beautiful and iconic backdrops for your shoot. I’ve collected the advice from talented photographers I know, did my own research, plus my own experience from my latest photoshoot in NYC to give you tips on creating a successful photoshoot in NYC or elsewhere. So, regardless if this photoshoot is to add a professional touch to your insta or for timeless family keepsakes I hope this post save you time in your planning efforts.

Understand the Purpose of Your Shoot

Not only should you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve during this photoshoot, you need to make sure everyone involved understands that too. If you’re imagining an edgy artistic concept while your photographer is thinking grace and elegance, that’s sure to lead to frustration and disappointment in the end.

If a single picture is worth 1000 words, and you’re going to be taking pictures for hours, think of a photoshoot as a photo novel…and you’re the main character. Take some time to understand the story and narrative you want to tell. Check Pinterest, IG, and other social media sites to guide you. Consider making an inspiration board with all the photos that appeal to you. Be able to articulate what attracts you to the photos you select. For example, is it the editing, the use of lights and shadows, the minimalism or maximalism, the filter, the posing that draws you into the photograph?
Take all of this to provide your concept to your photographer.

“Winging it can be fun but you need at least a rough plan of action. Make sure both sides know and agree on a game plan. So plan, plan plan…and then don’t forget to be spontaneous!” — Aaron Mann, photographer, Back Home Again Photos

Select the Photographer That can Tell That Story

Knowing what kind of shoot you want to achieve is going to help you select a photographer. While a wedding photographer can certainly do other styles of photos, his or her area of expertise is couples, not children. So, if you’re photographing a pack of rug rats, you might want to reconsider. Look at the portfolio and determine if your photographer has the experience to make your vision come to life.

Clearly, not New York City. But the photographer and I worked together to come up with the concept to tell the story of home.

Other considerations:

Also make sure you choose a photographer that knows the city or area.

Make sure your energy levels and personalities complement each other. You’ll be spending a lot of time with each other, you’ll want to be comfortable with each other. In fact, be sure everyone involved in the day has compatible personalities.

When I selected a photographer, I knew I wanted to work with my friend, Keith Brooks. Other places you can check for photographers (outside of a google search) Flytophotographer or Freelance.com or KYMA or even Craig’s list

Selecting a location

Your inspiration board is going to direct your location. Manhattan is expansive. And you’ll be covering a lot of ground if you try to get pictures of everything. I suggest sticking to one neighborhood. Since my concept was exploring SoHo and Brooklyn, two neighborhoods relatively close to each other, it wasn’t much distance between each shot and offered plenty of things to shoot along the way.

For family photoshoots you’re going to need easy access to bathrooms and room for little ones to release their energy. Consider Central Park, smaller parks, and the Central Park Zoo for photoshoots involving children.

Under the Manhattan Bridge is a popular photo opportunity for tourist.

Date and Time

The early model gets the most popular tourist attraction. Highly iconic spots: Flatiron building, Brooklyn Bridge, DUMBO, Statue of Liberty, Times Square, the Imagine Mosaic, Top of the Rock are all going to have thousands of tourists doing the same thing as you. Get there early at first light golden hour if possible. Also remember that the light has a way of playing peek-a-boo with skyscrapers casting shadows as the sun moves throughout the day. Check sunrise and sunset schedules. If possible, do a bit of homework and check the way the sun looks at certain locations at certain points of the day and schedule your shoot around those times. Also keep weather and season in mind.

Hair and Make up

If you’re going to have hair style changes, do the most challenging hair style first. That means, that effortless messy bun that takes a ton of effort to achieve…come with that already done. It’s a lot easier to undo it for later shots than put it up. Bring make-up wipes to get that MAC lip color off and change up the style. Depending on your style, faux lashes never really hurt anyone.

Go to Sephora and have them teach you how to contour. You can make multiple visits to learn different techniques. Better yet, bring a talented friend along or schedule your shoot after getting your makeup applied.

This was a test shot done with my friend’s iPhone while the photographer was adjusting lenses and playing with light. Test shots are helpful for the subject and photographer.

What to wear

I planned attire that was easy to switch up. I had leggings which could easily be worn under jeans, under a skirt, and as standalone pants (regardless of what the modesty police try to say). That’s a quick change for three outfits. I also wore a tank top under my shirt and sweaters for easy top changes without the need of a changing room. I brought a pair of comfortable walking shoes plus some sassier shoes. I packed a small jacket that was easy to fold into a small tote. Again, your concept is going to guide this. My friend who lives in NYC offered a whole rolling suitcase of outfit changes and boots. Coordinate with your photographer and most fashionable friends on what colors and patterns would work best.

All Black base makes an easy wardrobe change with the right accessories.

Props

I’m a notebook and reading book kind of girl so those are always my go-to accessories, but consider pens, umbrellas, guitars, cameras, etc.

Fashion accessories can change the overall look of an outfit. Change up a look with hats, scarves, gloves, totes, purses, jackets, change of shoes, hair accessories, sun shades, and faux reading glasses.

On location props- There’s always a street-side florist in the city that that you can buy flowers for a charming prop. Of course, just remember if you buy, instead of borrow, you’ll have to keep up with the flowers for the rest of the shoot or give them away. This last visit to the city, we also saw Christmas trees being sold. Could have been a cute prop doing a two-woman carrying of one of the trees but we passed.

Posing

Reference Google, Instagram, Pinterest or browse through your favorite magazine to practice and get an idea of at least three poses. Make one your signature pose.

Since I’m kind of a cheese ball, I’ve learned my signature pose is leaping. After reviewing several photos, I realize I’m always in the air. That doesn’t always work for sophisticated shoots. I’d suggest printing off a pose cheat sheet so you can recall some posing ideas on the spot.

Remember to take a few moments to loosen up from time to time. I had a tendency to get stiff and statuesque. Shaking my shoulders out and being reminded to keep my hands and face soft and relaxed helped.

Pre-coordination considerations

If you’re taking pictures indoor, you might have to make phone calls to the location just to be sure you have permission to photograph locations.

Create an itinerary. Select the locations, the types of shots you absolutely want at that location, and what makes efficient sense considering time of day, lighting, and travel times. Also take consideration on how you will get from point A to Point B. Sometimes it’s more cost and time efficient to take a Lyft. Other times you’ll be better off hailing a cab instead of waiting for a lift. If it’s rush hour, head underground for the metro.

Consider places for bathroom breaks. Starbucks serves as the default NYC public restroom so get an idea where the nearest one is in each of your locations ahead of time. Take the opportunity to go each time you have the chance.

In addition to your change of wardrobe, be sure to pack: Snacks, pain reliever, water, comfy shoes, dry socks for rainy days, lip glosses, makeup remover, and anything else unique to your shoot.

Get some rest the night before.

Eat a meal before your shoot. It’s best for you and the photographer to grab a bite in a coffee shop before. Reason one: you’ll be on the same eating schedule. Two, it’ll give you a moment to chat about the day.

And of course, relax and have fun during your shoot!

Selfie on the Brooklyn Bridge with my photographer, stylist, and creative director.

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December 26, 2012

2013 Projections: Eliminate

Holidays are seasoned with tradition. Although most traditions are steeped around Thanksgiving and Christmas, New Years also has its traditions in my family. Before every year my mom makes her signature dish, hoppin’ John, on New Years. And every year, even though my mom’s dish was delish, my sister and I would go out with friends or eat something else. Which lead to my mama, bless her heart, fussing about all her effort and food that got wasted.

As an adult, I’ve started my own traditions. I’ve welcomed the New Year by fasting and praying and getting into my Bible for some direction. The quiet days away from class and work are the perfect time for reflection on the past year and planning for the next. Since college graduation I’ve spent my New Year’s in some pretty exciting towns: Nashville, Orlando, Atlanta, and last year in Paris. This year I’ll be spending “Sylvester” as the German’s call it, with a dear cousin, at the biggest party spot in Europe, Berlin!

In 2012 I vowed to do more and I have to say in comparison to 2011, I succeeded. I wanted to:

1. Run More – I ran a 10K dressed like super hero, Storm.
2. Be more health conscious – I competed in a team obstacle course, started training for a fitness competition which requires weight lifting and a clean diet.
3. Write more – I’ve published 50 blog posts this year.
4. Travel more – I traveled to 15 different countries and spent 67 days traveling and exploring Europe.
5. Be more proactive in learning a language – When it came to learning a language, I took 12 hours of German language lessons, 12 hours of Spanish language classes, and 72 hours of French language lessons. I can get directions and order food in four languages.
6. Complete more of my Master’s program – I have one class left before I can call myself An International Affairs Master.
7. Patron the arts more – I started the year by watching a ballet in Vienna. I’ve been to Monet’s home, visited the Louvre three times, and been to enough art museums across Europe to establish the standard that if a museum costs more than the Louvre, it’s not worth seeing (take that Switzerland!)
8. And paint more. I have completed one ceramic and one canvas all year.

Now it’s time for me to start honing in on the goals I want to accomplish for myself for 2013. I need to go for quality, not quantity. Pick one language and really master it. Take longer, more relaxing trips instead of trying to cover too much ground in a short time. This year will be the year to eliminate. Eliminate distractions, clutter, commitments. Then I won’t be stretched out too thinly and I can produce better projects and better results. And after being completely finished with my degree, I just want to relax as much as I can and enjoy being young and in Europe.

December 4, 2012

Southern Belle’s Take On New Holiday Traditions

Photo from O.com

In the South, like most places around world, the dinner table takes center stage during the holidays. Thanksgiving with my oversized southern family is incredible. First of all, you must understand that my Alabama Grandma, Lula Mae, has seven children, 23 grandchildren, and something around 20 great grand-children. Such a troop only begs me to wonder what Abraham’s holidays must have looked like. My dad and his brothers try to outdo one another with their cooking skills. My dad will herb roast a turkey according to some recipe he saw on Emeril and Uncle #2 will deep fry a Turkey while Uncle #1 and Uncle #3 will came up with pulled pork or some sort of sugary, sweet ham. Even when we set a menu we still end up with dinner yeast rolls, corn bread, buttermilk biscuits, banana nut bread, and muffins. We always seem to have food for days… duplicates of everything…a whole pie, cake, cobbler, or other sweet concoction for every family to take home after the first helpings are demolished. There’s always an assortment of new twists on traditional holiday favorites. My cousin Karla, bless her heart, just couldn’t seem to perfect homemade mac & cheese two years in a row and did not escape the light-hearted teasing. She didn’t even attempt it the third year although we were eagerly waiting to see if she nailed the recipe. Now, I am not so proud to admit it, but I also flubbed the homemade mashed potato recipe two years in a row. Let me tell you, if you burn the bottom the pot, that nasty burnt taste will permeate through the entire batch. But these are memories that make up the holidays. Although we stress about prep and it takes a week to sort out the mess after wards, we are so fortunate to have such a storehouse of food and those to share it with.

Me on Thanksgiving.

This year I spent all Thanksgiving week in a bikini in the Canary Islands. It was beautiful, sunny, and warm! But back home in Kentucky, Uncle #2 pulled out all the stops for the family Day of Thanks. A long table trimmed in red stretched from the living room, through the dining room, and into the kitchen. There was the now-annual family flag football game while the final preparations were made in the kitchen. My dad’s birthday, which is usually an afterthought to all the holiday festivities, was celebrated with a bakery designed cake. The fests continued into the next morning with a breakfast buffet and Black Friday shopping. It just looked like a grandest of times in pictures. My little cousins came home from their first and second years in college; some with sweethearts. My two newlywed cousins came with their husbands. The military service members in the family were able to attend. Everyone was there except me.

My Aunt & Uncle’s home

When I moved to Germany I made it my stand that I would not return to The States for two years. That way I’d save money on plane fare and embrace the European culture as long as I could. However, the pictures of my family shared this past Thanksgiving did make me long for home just a tad. As I’ve gotten older I find myself longing for yesteryear when we use to go to the movies (and watch Home Alone) after dinner or when my cousins and I tried acting out the Nativity Story using my only younger male cousin at the time as the baby Jesus (he was not having it!). Over the past few years family members have gone to be with the Lord, join their new spouses’ family for the holidays, or experience heath problems; family leadership has shifted and traditions seemed to die out. I just wasn’t feeling the holiday spirit anymore. We just kept trying to do the same things we did when Granny/Aunt Ollie/Grandma were around and they just turn out to be poor substitutes for the original.

It’s taken being over here and peering in on my family from the outside for me to notice that, just as my family experienced new births and growth, the traditions were not dying out — they were transforming and being born. Even thought my family experienced deaths, we are no where close to dieing out. Families evolve like the culture around us. It’s silly for me to wish that we stays the same. I mean, I know it sounds so trite & cliche —“Embrace new tradition while honoring the past,” but this is the first time that I’ve actually seen those ideas in action. Each year we seem to welcome new members to our family. Each year we indoctrinate the little ones who were born into the family on the pieces of us that make us unique. Those who unite with us from other families incorporate fresh ideas and introduce new family recipes to our ever evolving traditions. The bulk of my family members are Generation Y-ers. We’ve all grown up and are accomplishing goal after goal and realizing new dreams. Instead of there being two separate dinner conversation being split between the adults and children we can all participate and have meaningful discussions about our amazing experiences, and stories, and opinions. And what a wonderful new tradition we’ve started of actually being active and playing football instead of watching it on TV! It’s bonding, team-building, and making memories wrapped in a cleverly disguised package. Of course we couldn’t have had a good game when we were a bunch of 7-year-old girls, but now, let the trash talkin’ begin!

My favorite photo of me & most of my Belle cousins a few years back.

When I return to the holiday dinner table next year, I’ll return with new Schwäbisch dishes to enhance the menu. I’ll get to see which one of my cousins becomes the mac and cheese queen (or king). I’ll have stories of my adventures abroad to tell and new traditions of my own. I’ll have the opportunity to get to know my sister and cousins as the adults they’ve grown to be and not only remember them as the children they once were and speak to my aunts and uncles as an adult. And lastly I’ll come home with a greater appreciation of my family and, as wild and loud as we may be when we all get together, I’ll enjoy the time I have with them and the the way we are right now.

September 29, 2012

It’s Official: I Have Travel Burn-Out

Guten Tag Ya’ll!

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I just got home from an exciting work venture that required long days and exciting nights with international cohorts.This year, in order to accomplish my main goal of doing more, I pressed through demanding graduate-level courses and traveled all around Europe this summer. My original goal was to visit a new country per month. In essence, that should be 12 countries per year. But I exceeded that. It’s not even October and I’ve visited 13 different countries this year and duplicated a few. I have traveled somewhere just about every weekend of this year. Now, the idea of traveling somewhere this weekend makes me want to groan. It’s official. I am experiencing the symptoms of travel burn-out. I never anticipated reaching this point.

I AM BURNT OUT!

I am coming down off my high from weekend, after weekend of travel, constantly being around people 24-7 for either work, school, or sleeping in open rows of bunk beds. Finally, I am in my own bed, in my own flat, with my own schedule. And really, I’m not sure what to do with myself. But it feels outstanding!

Now that the influx of summer tourists has departed the continent, it’s prime time for residents to hit the French Riviera. Except, I don’t want to. I mean I’d love to see San Tropez and Ibiza. But I just don’t have the will to pack and go.

It’s the start of early Fall in Germany! A gorgeous time of year full of cow fests, pumpkin fests, corn mazes, and of course Volksfest and Okoberfest. But jumping in the car or hopping on a plane to go isn’t moving me out of this bed.

Next week is my Columbus Day weekend. Last year, I visited Columbus’ debated home of Mallorca. This year, Oktoberfest is on the menu. But what shall I do with the rest of the four-day weekend? My energy is strained. This weekend my preferred weekend-get-away location is my bed.

There’s so much to do and see and I just cannot make myself go out and touch it all. I suppose I have a little bit of guilt for not being motivated to take advantage of my location and limited time in Europe. I suppose I never believed this could happen to be. I believe I have to take a rest on the short weekend trips all over creation and give myself some longer stays. I need to go back to my original plan of one country a month and maybe instead, just enjoy beautiful Germany in the fall.

Be A Good House Guest

Back in the old south, hosting long-term guest was an art form. Travel was more challenging back then so when people did make long journeys via riverboat, train, or horse carriage, their stay was also much longer. As I learned from visiting the Houmas Plantation just outside New Orleans, visitors were welcomed with a pineapple placed at their bedside. When they received their second pineapple, it was the host’s polite way of saying that guest’s welcome had expired and it was time to start making travel arrangements back home.

After talking to some co-workers, I’ve noticed Americans living in Germany all have similar experiences when it comes to hosting guests. Folks from back home will say they want to come over and never do. Or they do come over for an extended stay that sucks the soul out of those who of us who live here. Having guests should not cause the host to be stressed the entire visit or alter the host’s lifestyle too tragically. Your primary goal of a guest is to not impede or interrupt the lifestyle of your hosts. So here are a few ways you can be a pleasant house guest.

On Arrival

Tell your host when you’re coming and going early. That includes dates and times. People pick up and go to all sorts of far off destinations. Last thing your host needs is to rearrange her schedule or travel plans to pick you up at the airport because you give her three days or less notice on when you’re coming. Every day in Europe is an adventure.

Pack light.
Do not bring your entire wardrobe! You can always point out the American at the airport…the one that needs the cargo carrier to cart their luggage. No matter how long you’re staying, you only need one suitcase. Europe has washing machines. It also has little cars. Do not bank on your host having an American sized car than can carry everyone in your parties three pieces of luggage. Don’t bank on being picked up by car, you may be sent a taxi or be riding the train! Remember, you always return with more stuff so save room!

Bring a gift to say “thank you” when you arrive. A host gift displays your graciousness to your host’s generosity and hospitality. Consider bringing something from home that they cannot get easily in Europe.

Your Stay

Noise control: if your host lives alone, she is probably accustomed to peace and tranquility. Give her some time to have that. Limit times when the TV is going, people are shouting conversations above the t.v. and YouTube and the iPod going all at once. Chances are if you’re in Europe you live in a flat with neighbors all around. You don’t want to leave your host in bad graces with her neighbors.

Be independent as quickly as possible. Even though they have graciously invited you into their home, they have already rearranged their normal routines on your behalf. Their hospitality also requires their investment of time, energy, and money for extra food and drink, utilities, and other costs. Be mindful of that and do not depend on your host to research activities for you, chauffeur you from place to place. Learn things on your own quickly. Learn www.vvs.de and German road signs quickly so you can rent a car.

Get out of the house. As Ben Franklin once said, “Fish and visitors stink after three days.” If you are staying for a longer period, find way to leave and stay elsewhere (i.e. a trip to Austria) for a few days to give your hosts some private time. Everyone needs a little alone time for peace, quiet, and recharging. Your host is accustomed to you not being there. So strike out on your own once in a while so your host can have that alone time. Just be sure to communicate this with your host so she isn’t expecting you for have dinner or other activities she may have planned.

Let your host sleep: Let your host get to bed for a decent night’s rest. Your hosts may not be on vacation as you are (most have to work while you play). While you may be jet lagged and awake at all hours, your host needs to work. Make an attempt tohurry and get on your new time zone’s schedule. You can bring your own earphones for listening to music or for watching TV. That way you will not keep your host awake all night or feeling restless because of the activity, noise, and lights.

Clean up after yourself. Do NOT leave your dirty dishes in the sink. This is just rude, even if your host does. You should leave the kitchen cleaner than you found it, but hopefully it goes without saying that you clean your dishes as soon as you’re done with them.

Keep your guest area neat. This is not your home. Make your presence as unobtrusive as possible. Keep your belongings out of the way. You’re on vacation, not in a rush to get to work or school…you have time to make your bed in the mornings. Put dirty laundry in a laundry bag or plastic bag. Just shutting the door to a messy room is NOT an option. If you are a smoker, do not have your host sweeping up your ashes.

Use the guest bathroom. Don’t disrupt my host’s morning by having to sort through you’re toiletries to find her own, or have to wait for you to get out of the shower, or deal with your messes.

Always offer to help at mealtimes. Your host is not a servant. There is nothing more debilitating than having guests who sit around waiting expectantly for all meals. Offer to cook, help cook and clean afterwards. Hosts often say there is nothing for you to help with, however, you can find something, whether it is consolidating trash, washing dishes, slicing veggies, etc. If you cook for yourself, cook enough for your host… especially if you are using your hosts’ kitchen staples and supplies.

Be flexible and adaptive. You adapt to the hosts preferences. They do not cater to you. This is not a hotel.

Learn about the electricity! Last thing your host needs is a huge electric bill because you, acting like a typical American, left the transformer plugged all week. Or, you blow your hosts flat screen because you don’t know the difference between a transformer and an adapter. Ask questions. You have google at your finger tips…use it!

Make contributions. Go grocery shopping, foot the bill at a restaurant, do home repairs, clean up, take out the trash.

Do your own laundry. Your host works while you’re home all day. Do not quadruple her work load by adding your laundry and your children’s to hers when she gets home. This way, you are solely responsible for your own lost or damaged clothing as well.

Entertain yourself. This goes back to the “become independent as quickly as possible” tip. Your host has probably already spent time mapping out plenty of things for you to see and do. Do these activities during the day while your host is away. Your host has probably already visited the sights many times before. Let your hosts make it clear whether or not they have the time to take you to places, or to spend entire evenings with you. Don’t assume that you can rely on their generosity to drive you to places or to show you around.

Communicate. If you’ll be out in the evening or if you’re bringing food home it would be nice to let your host know that you don’t need her to cook for you ahead of time. Let her know if you’ll be out all night. Make sure your lines don’t cross. Let your host know your plans.

Be appreciative. Show appreciation for the local food, sightseeing, and other attractions. Show appreciation for the host opening her home to you. Do not criticize. If things are so much better at home, you could have stayed there.

Be considerate with phone usage. Don’t rack up crazy fees. Ask before you call back home to the states or make international phone calls all over Europe or even within the same town. German phone calls are priced differently than in the states. Even landlines calls across town can have pay by the minute plans.

Do not invite other people to the residence without first clearing it with your hosts. This is just common courtesy and respect, as you are a guest, not an equal member in their home. It’s also a security risk. Now this person knows where your host lives long after you’ve returned home.

Parting is Such Bitter Sweet Sorrow

Leave a thank-you gift on your departure. Send a thank you card after you arrive home.

Don’t leave work for your host. You are not staying in a hotel. Your host will have to tidy up after you leave. Make sure you return your accommodations in the manner as you received it so your hosts don’t need to spend time re-organizing after you leave. If you shop to the point that you can’t fit everything in your suitcase, pack your own boxes to ship things home, DO NOT just leave a mess of items for your host to pack and ship later. You host may be hosting other guests soon after you leave so help her out.

August 4, 2012

A Southern Girl’s Guide to Hitchhikers

10 Things I Remember About My Aunt Ollie

1. My Great Aunt Ollie was a phenomenal woman.

2. She was known for her big heart that had a soft spot for nurturing children. When a child was in need, her heart and home was always open.

3. She displayed her big heart by unofficially, on two occasions adopted two boys whose parents just decided to abandon their parental duties. She raised these boys and made them part of the family.

4. My great-aunt Olive was a leader. She dedicated her life to being part of the solution to make our small town a better place. As a city council member, she envisioned the town she grew up in as a place that the youth would want to return home to after college. Not only did she dedicate her life to public service but she lead our family. Even as a member by marriage, she led as a matriarch.

5. My Aunt Ollie was the fastest girl in the state of Kentucky, winning a state title in the girl’s 400 meter dash. Her running discipline as a teen was evident with beautiful, shapely legs as an adult.

6. She could throw a party at a moment’s notice. Her pantry was always stocked with delicious goodies. Her fun, social personality could make the simplest gathering around her kitchen entertaining.

7. Ollie could transform her house into a wonderland at Christmas time. Every year, late into the night on Christmas Eve you’d find her entertaining while whipping up magic concoctions that released hypnotizing scents into the air, making even the devil believe he was in heaven. Her living room would be filled to the ceiling with mountains of gifts for her grandchildren and loved ones. A slice of her velvet cake would make you believe.

8. When the angels carried her on to Heaven, mourners filled the church paying their respects. The mayor choked-up delivering his eulogy. Traffic was stopped on the busiest street with the longest procession that town has seen. “Will be missing you” played on the radio during her procession. When she died, all our family traditions died along with her traditions died right along with her. We were left trying to figure out, what will we do at holidays without her?

9. She was my uncle’s Sarah (without the whole infertility ordeal). A mother to more than just her two biological children. A princess. Someone to emulate, respect, and honor.

10. I was loved by her. This world lost her a few days after my high school graduation. She left my uncle a honey-do list which included getting me a luggage set as my graduation gift. When I consider it now, here she is, fighting cancer, being calling home and she’s still thinking about taking care of me. There’s no doubt that I was loved by her. Back then I only had the perspective of a child on the verge of becoming an adult. I wonder the conversations we’d have if she were still around. I wonder what she’d tell me about leadership. It’s amazing how much you learn about a person after they pass.

A Southern Girl’s Guide to Hitch Hikers

On my way home from class from Heidelberg to Stuttgart I was running low on gas and needed an emergency pit stop. While pumping some diesel into my little golf, a young man came up to me with a map asking if I could get him and a friend closer to München (not sure why English speakers call this town Munich). “So, you speak English well, how did you learn,” one asked. I explained I was American which is when they revealed they were Dutch. He and his bud were on a race to Sziget Fest in Budapest and had traveled all the way from Rotterdam, Netherlands to nearly Stuttgart all by the transportation of wonderful strangers. The loser had to buy the winning team “Ali Baba pants.” The other team was way behind them in Cologne, Germany. I was going to just drop them off on the side of the road as they requested when they let on that they were planning on pitching a tent in the woods somewhere.

Well how could I allow that to happen knowing I had two extra beds? I brought them back to my place. Which, as one of my friend’s pointed out, sounds like a classic plot to a certain type of movie, if you know what I mean?


These guys made it from Rotterdam to Stuttgart

I got them set up with internet so they could tell their friends and family that they were alive and well. They started mapping out their plan for the next day. I offered to make pasta (via popping open a pre-made easy bag). All they wanted was bread. Well, I also had ham and sliced sandwich cheese. They raised an eyebrow at my miracle whip. “Sounds interesting” they said. They didn’t use it. I served them on paper plates since my cabinet crushed my real dishes. We had a laugh about Ikea kitchens. Apparently everyone knows someone who’s wall mounted cabinets have fallen before. I pulled out some mandarin oranges, stuffed peppers, granola, different antipasti type foods AND cheese from their homeland that I served on Delft blue cheese board. They were tickled. “Some people think this is all there is to the Netherlands” He said in references to the girl in wooden shoes in front of a windmill painted on my traditional blue pottery. “Windmills and marijuana” he said somewhat disappointed.

I wound up going to bed. They stayed up on the computer before cuddling up in my pink & chocolate brown clad guest bedroom (It makes me smile seeing a guy curled up in my pink blankets). They had planned to leave at dawn but must have needed the sleep. In the morning, the two showered up — it’s refreshing to get a shower in their mode of traveling and they were very grateful. I was grateful that they were very tidy, picking up after their mini meal, making the beds, and cleaning their bathroom mess. I caught them before they slipped out around 0900. They were in the process of leaving me a bottle of wine, which I traded with them so they could give to someone else who helped them. They said they tried to give it to a trucker who helped them most but all the trucker wanted as an energy drink. They left the kindest note which concluded, “American hospitality is the best.”

It was that note that made me feel like I represented my country and the south well. More than that, I was reminded my favorite scripture Hebrews 13:2 “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” In considering this scripture, I also thought of my late aunt. Maybe this was a verse that she lived by. The gratitude shown by these teenagers because I offered them my surplus of empty beds, leftovers, and a place to wash up humbled me. It’s been almost a decade since that June day we put Ollie in the grave but I know, that if everyone she touched is being hospitable towad strangers, that she still lives through them. What a wonderful inheritance she left the world in her 54 years. She is one of my real life examples of a true representation of a Southern Belle.

And they’re on their way! Good Luck guys!

We waved good bye, and I wish them luck on their way. I’ll say a special prayer for them tonight that the good Lord keeps them safe and they continue to come across amazing strangers and learn that this world is a wonderful place. I understand the dangers of opening my home to strangers. My mom made sure I understood and praise God I’m still alive to speak of this adventure. People tell me all the time that I’m too kind and people will take advantage of my hospitality. And at times it has been true. But people do not get attacked because they are kind; they get attacked because someone with a sick, wicked mind intentionally set out to hurt them. We can’t afford to live our lives with so much fear in our hearts that we cannot be a saving grace to our fellow humans.

July 28, 2012

Travel-Free Weekend

This weekend is the first weekend since March that I have absolutely nothing planned. Initially I had planned to visit the castles in Cesky Krumlov, but due to a lack of interest, that trip got cancelled! Although I feel somewhat guilty that I’m not on the go, I really think it was God’s message telling me that I need to chill. Bruno Mars’ “Lazy Song” is my theme for the weekend. I am worn out! Recouping will be my most productive weekend since my intensive travel began.

Keeping with my “Travel More” inspiration for the year, this is what I’ve done:

January

Paris
Munich

February

Vienna, Salzburg, Budapest

March

Albania

April

Paris
Disney Paris
Amsterdam & other Holland cities during tulip season
Polish Pottery girl’s weekend

May

Me @ Keukenhof. with over 7K tulips

Bolzano, Italy
Ljubljana, Slovenia
Normandy, France

June (My family is here!)

Paris
Montenegro
Neuschwanstein
Ulm
Munich

July (My Family is STILL here)

Belgium
Zurich, Switzerland
Poland
Czech Republic
Triberg in The Black Forest
Garmisch, Germany

ME & BABY BELLE IN THE BLACK FOREST

What I still want to do (in no particular order of priority):

Oslo (I have not visited my friend there yet).
Scandinavia Tour
Med Cruise to Santorini, Croatia, Turkey
Revisit Prague and visit to Cesky Krumlov
Revisit Switzerland (I wasn’t impressed the first time)
Beach: Ibiza, Monte Carlo, French Riviera somewhere
Scotland
Russia
Poland: Krakow maybe Warsaw
Portugal
Italy: Roma, Venice, Pisa, Florance, Milan, Vatican

Spain: Barcelona, Madrid, Seville, Valencia, Malaga, Ibiza, Granada, Cordva, Gibraltar (it’s really GB I know), Canary Islands, Having A Coke With You tour (Check out Frank O’Hara’s poem)
Germany: Oktoberfest!, Romantik Road, Koln, Berlin, Dresden
Africa: Ferry from Gibraltar into Africa, Seychelles (Even though It’s not Europe, I’m thinking it must be cheaper
from Europe than the U.S. and I’ve never been south of the Equator)
France: Versailles, Paris Catacombs, Moulin Rouge, French cooking school, Nancy, Lyon, Nice, Marseille, Seine River boat Ride, Jim Morrison’s grave site, Saint Tropez, Marseilles

Then of course there are the activities like skiing, white water rafting, marathons, concerts, girls get-a-ways, and romantic retreats that I also want to experience. Then I can say I came, I saw, I conquered all in Europe. Still very ambitious. When I graduate in May, I’ll return to The States. I can’t help but to feel my time for touring, exploring, and pilgrimage-ing is running out. Even Stuttgart is a holiday. I am still wandering into new neighborhoods and discoveries with every new turn in this fabulous hometown. There is still much in Germany that I have yet to see and explore.

All those trips will have to wait. This weekend, I’ll just enjoy summertime in Stuttgart. I’ll be finding my balance, getting my life back in order, and recharging from a whirlwind of a year thus far. Besides…I have books to read and papers to write…coming upon my final semester as a grad student! Although it’s bitter sweet, I can see the light at the end of the graduation tunnel!