Germans always find a reason to fest. Whether it’s cows coming home for the fall, a change of season, or a change of day — it’s a cause for celebration. When King Ludwig married Princess Theresa in October 1810, the people of Bavaria partied. And they have been celebrating their anniversary ever since. Here’s my syllabus for Oktoberfest 101—a guide to making sure you prost like a German rock star in Munich!

Oktober Fest 101: Expectation Management

I always imagined Oktoberfest to be a wild, crazy, debauchery-laden drunk-fest similar to Woodstock or Bonnaroo with an untherapeutic heaping of Mardi Gras chaos sprinkled in. But after partaking in the 202-year-old tradition, I compare it to something like The Kentucky Derby or a state fair. In fact, the original Oktoberfest included a massive horse race! Just as the Kentucky Derby is more than just a horse race, it’s a time to celebrate the change of seasons with all things Kentucky; Oktoberfest is a time to revel in all things Bavarian. 

Oktoberfest can be quite the family affair with plenty of sober activities.  For example, carnival rides, parades, live music, dancing on tables, games, and of course, excellent Southern German food!  I must say, I’m not a beer girl. All the great beer snobs of the world talk a great game about German beers versus Belgians and what have you. But honestly, and they’ll cringe when I say this, I haven’t tasted a darn beer in all of Europe that impresses me. There! I said it.

Oktober Fest 101: Lodging and Logistics

First things first — secure a place to stay! And if you’re doing an AirBnB, have a backup. You don’t want to be one of those people taking shelter on the train station floor (you’ll be in good company if you do, though). I stayed in the Holiday Inn South. It’s a great hotel with wonderful service.

I like to keep my lodging costs around €100 euro however, this is Oktoberfest and I booked last minute, so that was out of the question.  On top of that, I reserved a room through hotels.com, a sister site of Expedia.com. I ended up coming a day earlier than my reservation (I mistakenly mistyped my reservation) and because the reservation was an Expedia reservation, the hotel couldn’t change it. So, I wound up paying for two nights. Had I booked directly with the hotel, changing my Saturday reservation to Friday would have been no problem. I’m sure there were cheaper hotels in Munich. However, this Holiday Inn was right around the corner from the U-Bahn station and about seven stops from the fest.

Learning the U-Bahn system may take some time for Americans who aren’t accustomed to public transportation but the staff at the hotel can direct you to the U-3 to the fest…then follow the mass droves of people dressed like you!

Bottom line: Reserve your hotel early! You can use hotel sites to find hotels, but then book directly with the hotel. It provides more flexibility, say if your flight was cancelled or missed. Just do a little research.

Oktober Fest 101: Safety

Practice the buddy system. If one man goes down, you all go home. Security is really good at making sure people don’t die. So, when they see your buddy passed out at your table and you keep on dancing, they’ll send him on his way, and you get to go with him.  Folks, don’t be the one who makes your whole crew end their night early.  I’ve noticed it’s never the Germans who pass out. It’s always the newbies to Germany. And most often, from a FVEY country.

As the evening progresses and the drink consumption increases, ladies should consider all the risks that come with that atmosphere. Buddy system.

Inside the hippodrom

Partying

You’ll want table reservations directly with your party tent of choice. Table reservations can only be made in multiples of 10. You must buy beer and food vouchers in advance, which can cost 20 – 80€ per person, depending on the tent and the time. Fortunately, y Finnish friends and I got prime-time table reservations (weekend evening tables) so our reservations were pricy. You’ve got to reserve tables early…we’re talking six months or so in advance.  If you don’t make it to your table on time, your €80 per person investment may be up for grabs.

People often pick their tent based on the beer they want to drink. Since I’m not big on drinking beer, I picked it by the atmosphere.

My favorite tents were:

Löwenbräu – has a lion on top and a very fun, party atmosphere on the inside.

Hofbräu – has a chicken on top. Thousands of international revelers inside.

Hippodrome – tacky colors but hip amongst the younger crowd and best bet for singles.

I also knew one of my friends was supposed to be somewhere in Oktoberfest, but she lost her phone, and I lost contact with her. I found her, where else, but in the long women’s line for the bathroom. She was without a reservation, but she was having a blast chatting with people from all over the world anyway.

Make sure you are up on your 80’s rock lyrics. Not just the chores, the whole thing! It’s so awesome to hear citizens from all nations belt out the “Na Na Na Na” part of “Hey Jude” or rock out to “Don’t Stop Believing” by ACDC and every other ’80s rock song. It’s the Germans, especially, who know the words, lyric for lyric to every obscure ’80s song. Look up and practice the words to Ein Prosit.

Just remember that the proper response to, “Ticki-tocki, ticki-tocki” is “Oi!, Oi!, Oi!”

Dance on the tables until security chases you down.

Don’t let bad weather slow you down. It poured down rain one of the days I was there, and people were still prosting.

Löwenbräu Fest Tent

Last Call

Security doesn’t play. When the band stops playing, it’s time to move along. Taxi, walk, or U-bahn yourself to the DISCO (not a night club…night clubs are found in the red-light district) or back to your hotel. Notice I didn’t say drive. Do everyone some good and just follow the droves of dirndl and hosen wearers and hop yourself on a train. Oh, and do not try to “borrow” an Oktoberfest mug until the next time you come. Security will get you, and you could go to jail. Just buy one. They’re like 10 euros.

Hofbräu Tent with International Flare

Oktober Fest 101: Food Guide

1. Hendl is Bavarian and Austrian for hühnchen or huhn, which is German for chicken
2. Anything with schweine is pork. Schweinebraten (roast pork), Schweinshaxe (grilled ham hock), Steckerlfisch (grilled fish on a stick)
3. Würst- sausages (rot is red, curry is spicy, Käse is cheese, and weiß is white)
4. Brezel- Pretzel
5. Knödel -potato or bread dumplings
6. Spätzle – noodles,
7. Reiberdatschi (potato pancakes),
8. Sauerkraut or Rotkohl/Blaukraut

Don’t let bad weather slow you down. It poured down rain on one of the days I was there and people were still posting.