Germans always find a reason to fest. Whether its cows coming home, a change of season, change of day, it’s a cause for celebration. When King Ludwig married Princess Theresa in October 1810, the people of Bavaria partied, and they have been celebrating their anniversary ever since.

I must say, I’m not a beer girl. I’ve tried, but I’m just not. All the great beer snobs of the world talk a great game about German beers and Belgian beers and the loggers and what have you. But honestly, and they’ll cringe when I say this, I haven’t tasted a darn beer in all of Europe that could hold a match to Budlight Lime… or even bud light wheat. There! I said it.

Anyway, here’s my guide to making sure you party like a German rock star in Munich!

Packing

Bring your own hangover medicine ‘cus Advil and Tylenol-like medicines are only sold in Apotheke which are closed on Sundays. Ladies, you must bring our buy a traditional dirndl or lederhosen. Not a polyester/ felt sexy milkmaid costume.They can run you around €200. Because of the price, I want to make sure I get enough wear out of mine so I pretty much wore mine around all of Bavaria during the entire 4-day weekend. Bring your fave American drink. I gave Jim beam as a gift to the Fins and they gave me Mintu. Buying bourbon in Germany is pricy though. You may want casual, traditional American jeans to wear around town during the day. And a bathing suit — sitting in a hotel sauna would be great the morning after.

Drinking

Those of us who live in Germany already know, but for those of you coming from the states, German beer is stronger than American beer and they give you more of it (a liter at a time). Do not cut your night short by drinking quickly. You cannot keep pace with a European. You just can’t so don’t even try. Good rule of thumb is one beer per hour…or less! Also, Make sure you eat! Save your drink to wash down your rotisserie chicken or drink during the “Ein Prosit” song only. Better yet order a Raddler — Bier and sprit mix. You can still party with the crowed and no one will ever know you have less beir.

Make a note, pretty much everything on the menu in the Hippodrom tent costs €10. Eight beers, if you are still standing after that will cost you €80. Don’t go into shock when you get the bill after buying a round for your whole table. Half a chicken and strudel will cost 20 bucks. Be sure to tip the waitress a euro per drink. Doing the traditional American 15% is overboard. It’s a cash only festival so bring plenty of it.

Practice the buddy system. If one man goes down, you all go home. Security is really good at making sure people don’t die so when they see your buddy passed out at your table and you keep on dancing, they’ll send him on his way and you get to go with him.  Folks, don’t be the one that makes your whole crew end their night early.  Notice, it’s never the German who is passed out. It’s always the newbies to Germany.

Partying

And since we’re talking about cash, you pay for rides in cash. It’s not like America and you go up to a ticket booth a buy a ton of tickets all at once and different rides are worth different amounts of tickets. You pay for the ride at the ride. Good roller coasters can cost you €6.50 a person. Remember that if Oktoberfest is a date for you…and you’re not going Shwabbish (same idea as going Dutch). Note: It is not advisable to ride the spinning swings after consuming a liter.

You’ll want table reservations. You can only reserve a whole table for 10 people and you have to buy beer and food vouchers in advance for 20 – 80€ per person depending on the tent and the time. My Finnish friends and I got prime time table reservations (weekend evening tables) so our reservations were pricy. You’ve got to reserve tables early…we’re talking six months or so in advance.If you don’t make it to your table on time, your €80 per person investment may be up for grabs.

My favorite tents were:
Löwenbräu – has a lion on top
Hofbräu – has a chicken on top. Thousands of internationals inside.
Hippodrom – tacky colors but hip amongst the younger crowd and best bet for singles.

Inside the hippodrom

I also knew one of my friends was suppose to be somewhere in Oktoberfest but she lost her phone and I lost contact wither. I found her, where else, but in the long women’s line for the bathroom. She was without a reservation but she was having a blast chatting with people from all over the world anyway.

Löwenbräu Fest Tent

Hofbräu Tent with International Flare

Make sure you are up on your 80’s rock lyrics. Not just the chores, the whole thing! It’s so awesome to here citizens from all nations belt out the “Na Na Na Na” part of “Hey Jude” or rock out to “Don’t Stop believing” ACDC and every other 80s rock song. It’s the Germans especially who know the words, lyric for lyric to every obscure 80s song. Look up and practice the words to Ein Prosit.

Just remember that the proper response to “Ticki-tocki, ticki-tocki” is “Oi!, Oi!, Oi!”

Dance on the tables until security chases you down.

Don’t let bad weather slow you down. It poured down rain one of the days I was there and people were still Prosting.

You can try to learn food ordering phrases in German before coming but I’m not sure it will help you. These people speak Bavarian…I’m going to liken this language to Louisiana’s Cajun. The Germans say Bavarian German is Germany’s equivalent to Texan English. Being taught Shwabbish German then going to Bavaria I noticed that even though Bavaria and Baden-Württemberg are neighboring states, their dialects of German a worlds apart.

And lastly, for the love of America, Americans, do not get into a fight! I’m not sure why, but anytime a fight breaks out in a tent you can bet your best dirdle push-up bra that it’s either an American or a Brit (Canadians and Australians, and English South Africans included… but most likely a regular ol’ Brit or American).

Last Call
Security doesn’t play. When the band stops playing it’s time to move along. Taxi, walk, or U-bahn yourself to the DISCO (not night club…night clubs are found in the red-light district) or back to your hotel. Notice I didn’t say drive. German Polizi don’t play when it comes to DUIs. The legally drunk limit .05. That’s less than a liter of beer for ladies. In the US, you get a little fine and a tap on the hand. If you’re a drunk driver in Germany prepare to be lined up against the barn in front of the firing squad. And they are more active and effective at catching perpetrators. Do everyone some good and just follow the droves of dirndl and hosen wearers and hop yourself on a train. Oh, and do not try to “barrow” an Oktoberfest mug until the next time you come. Security will get you and you could go to jail. Just buy one. Their like 10 euro.

Food Guide
Hendl Bavarian for Hühnchen or Huhn which is German for chicken
Anything with Schweine is pork. Schweinebraten (roast pork), Schweinshaxe (grilled ham hock), Steckerlfisch (grilled fish on a stick)
Würst- sausages (rot is red, curry is spicy, Käse is cheese, and weiß is white)
Brezel- Pretzel
Knödel -potato or bread dumplings
Spätzle – noodles,
Reiberdatschi (potato pancakes),

Sauerkraut or Rotkohl/Blaukraut